


Wolves

by 5021ZAIN



Category: Chicago PD (TV)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Blood and Injury, Crime Scenes, F/M, Falling In Love, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Hurt/Comfort, Injury, Major Character Injury, Mutual Pining, Romance, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-15
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-12 14:14:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 31,474
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28761630
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/5021ZAIN/pseuds/5021ZAIN
Summary: Hailey finds herself in a dangerous situation, and both she and Jay have to learn that sometimes things get worse before they get better.
Relationships: Jay Halstead & Hailey Upton, Jay Halstead/Hailey Upton, Kevin Atwater & Vanessa Rojas, Kevin Atwater/Vanessa Rojas, Kim Burgess & Adam Ruzek, Kim Burgess/Adam Ruzek, Vanessa Rojas/Hailey Upton
Comments: 100
Kudos: 172





	1. Stay wide awake

**Author's Note:**

> disclaimer: I (unfortunately) don't own Jay Halstead or Hailey Upton, they're all Dick Wolf's puppies.

**T** he clock on the wall in the living room signaled that it was 22.41 when Jay woke up abruptly with a strangled gasp escaping his dry mouth. With his eyes narrowed, he looked at his surroundings, his living room, and it didn't take long for him to understand he was in a safe place.

Jay was used to having nightmares, he'd been dealing with them for years, especially when he and his team had to work on a particularly triggering case, but this time it was sort of different.  
What he'd dreamt involved the usual scenario of him being overseas—it was like he could physically feel the weight of the military gear he used to wear—except, this time Hailey was with him.

She was being tortured, while Jay was forced to watch without being able to save her, or at least try to.  
He knew it was just a result of his subconscious playing some evil tricks on him, but the feeling of uneasiness his body was pervaded with felt and _was_ real.

The collar of the blue t-shirt he was wearing was drenched in sweat, his hands slightly shaking.

Jay slowly got up from the couch, emitting a heavy sigh, and pulling his short hair—a gesture he did only when he was in undeniable distress.  
In just a few steps he was in the kitchen. He quickly filled a glass with some cold tap water and chugged it down, repeating the action once more, trying to calm down.

It wasn't easy, though. In the back of his mind, Jay was reliving the nightmare he had, and the images of Hailey being hurt were so clear and vivid and hard to forget.

From afar, he glued his now much darker green eyes on his phone, which was placed on the coffee table.  
Jay bit his bottom lip, feeling indecisive. He wanted to call Hailey to check if she was alright, but he knew she was out with Vanessa and Kim and didn't want to interfere, especially if it was because of some paranoia his mind had created.

Jay was in his house, in Chicago, and Hailey was at Molly's, having fun with her friends. They were safe, _she_ was safe.

Was she, though? Jay _had_ to make sure.

He walked back to the living room and bent over to reach for his phone. As he was sitting on the couch, he unlocked the device and tapped the screen to go to Hailey's contact.  
Jay was ready to dial her number, only he hesitated. He didn't want to sound desperate—maybe he didn't want Hailey to notice that he was indeed desperate to hear her voice—and then decided to go for a text message instead.

Texts were less complicated, they didn't reveal the many implications that words have.

 _Hey. How're you doing? Everything ok?_ Jay typed.

He read and re-read those few words for a full minute, hoping they were as neutral as possible and didn't reveal the real nature behind those questions—his worry—and when he was convinced, he tapped on the "send" button, freeing a breath he didn't realize he was holding.

* * *

Hailey was laughing at one of Kim's jokes when she felt her phone in the front pocket vibrate three times, telling her she just received a text.

She quickly took it, knowing the girls wouldn't mind, hoping it wasn't anything work-related. She almost imperceptibly raised her eyebrows, biting her lips, as she read Jay's message.

The subtle change in her expression didn't go unnoticed by Vanessa, who was sitting across from her, attentively studying her face.

"Jay?" the brunette asked. It wasn't a real question, though, because her answer was the pink color in which Hailey's cheeks had just turned. Only Jay was capable of making her blush like that, whether it was something she was aware of or not—Hailey was so obliviously _obvious_!

Hailey bit her lip, blushing even more at her friend's question. She tried to busy herself by answering the text:

_Yup, we're having fun here. Are YOU ok?_

"So?!" Vanessa kicked her foot under the table, while Kim was looking at the two of them with an amused expression. She enjoyed seeing Vanessa teasing the hell out of her roommate about Jay.

The blonde rolled her eyes at Vanessa's persistence. "Yes, Vanessa, it's Jay," she answered. "Wanna read the text, too?"

It was a rhetorical question that Vanessa took very literally. She looked at her with a straight face and, "Well, if you insist…" she mumbled, feigning an innocent look.

"Vanessa!" Kim exclaimed, nudging her with her elbow and chuckling at her antics. They all knew the alcohol they were consuming was not to blame for her shenanigans, Vanessa was just bold like that.

Hailey shook her head and let out a frustrated groan, her cheeks now red. "He's just checking on me, and…" she paused as she read the upcoming text, "He says hi," she told them both, omitting the part in which Jay asked her if she needed him to drive her home, knowing they were going to make a big deal out it.

_Nope, I can handle myself… won't be drinking much 😉_

She replied to her partner and then put the phone back in her pocket, proceeding to give her whole attention back to her friends.

They were at Molly's for a simple girls' night out. It wasn't anything overdone or fancy (they were still in their work clothes), but it _definitely_ was needed. Not that they didn't like being around their partners, but it was nice to just enjoy the company of other fellow women from time to time.

The place wasn't fully packed, maybe because it was a regular day of the week. Behind the bar counter, Stella and Herrmann were serving the few clients, but mostly chilling and having a conversation of their own.

Vanessa raised her hand to catch Stella's attention, making a thumbs-up, silently telling her she wanted another Cuba libre, to which the other woman replied with a smile and a nod, immediately going to fix her drink.

"I'm not dragging you outta here if you can't walk straight," Hailey fake-threatened her roommate, even though they both knew it wasn't going to be the case.

Every time Vanessa got face-drunk, Hailey had actually taken good care of her, almost treating her like she was her child—which, in the brunette's mind, worked out perfectly, since she had this weird theory about Hailey and Jay being her parents in this far, alternative universe.

"It's fine, Kevin's gonna pick me up," she declared casually, catching Kim gasping at the new piece of information. But before she could say anything, "So!" Vanessa raised her voice, "You and Jay…"

"Oh, there's a _you and Jay_ now, I need to catch up," Stella shamelessly jumped into their conversation, and Hailey kind of started regretting not going home.

The blonde dramatically took her head in her hands, her elbows pointed onto the table. "I'm _so_ gonna murder people tonight," she mumbled to herself but made it loud and clear, even to the firefighter who had quickly gotten back to doing her work, giggling.

Hailey sighed as she raised her head to look at her friends. Sure, they'd found a way to make fun of her, but she knew they—especially Vanessa—came from a place of genuinely believing she and Jay should be more than partners, best friends, or whatever they defined themselves.

"We're just friends," she stated truthfully. Friends was all she and Jay were. Anything else, anything _more_ had not been discussed. Contemplated? Sure—at least from Hailey's part—but there was no point in complicating something already good and risk for it to _not_ be so good anymore.

Kim glanced at the blonde briefly and perhaps it was the fact that she had definitely drunk less than Vanessa, or the fact that she was always the voice of reason in the group, but it took her just a few seconds to sense that Hailey was telling the truth.

"Just know that if it becomes something more–" Kim started but was interrupted by Vanessa.

"Which it _will_!" the younger inserted, earning a glare from Kim.

"In that case, we're going to support you."

" _Ship_ you," Vanessa corrected her again.

Hailey chuckled at Vanessa but ignored her, shaking her head. There was no point in trying to contradict her.

She gave Kim a little nod and silently told her that she appreciated her words, shooting a tight-lipped smile her way.

"So, now that we've covered the Upstead topic," Hailey cringed at that name, even though it wasn't the first time she'd heard it coming from Vanessa, "Kim, how are things between you and Adam?" she asked with an evil grin on her lips.

Kim almost choked on her drink, not expecting Vanessa to put her on blast like that. She started coughing, making Hailey release a relieved chuckle—she was glad she wasn't the center of attention anymore.

"How come you always wanna know about us, but you never tell us about who _you_ are sleeping with?" Kim asked in a smart-ass tone, pursing her lips in a smirk.

Vanessa cocked her right eyebrow. "Oh, so you're sleeping with him, cool cool cool," that was all she took from Kim's answer.

Kim dramatically gasped, looking at Hailey with wide eyes, probably asking for support. The blonde vehemently shook her head, "You deal with that," she raised her hands in surrender, ready to enjoy their banter.

She chuckled at them, a genuine smile on her lips.  
Vanessa and Kim were so different, from her and from one another. The younger one was louder and didn't hold back in showing enthusiasm and gratitude for the little things life had blessed her with, while Kim was quieter, more level-headed, but a great observer—she didn't talk on things much, she was better at silently analyzing them.

And they fit so well in Hailey's life that, as time passed, it was getting harder and harder to imagine a life without the two of them being part of it.

* * *

Hailey turned off the engine once she'd parked in front of her house. She took her phone from the passenger seat and double-tapped on the screen.

_Alright then. Well, text me when you get home._

Hailey read Jay's text and she was glad Vanessa and Kim weren't there because she could tell she was blushing, she could feel a rush of blood going up straight to her cheeks.

Jay always managed to show her he cared about her with the simplest gestures, and it made Hailey feel some type of way that she couldn't really rationalize, or properly put into words. She just knew it felt good.

The blonde took her keys from the pocket of her jeans and exited her vehicle, locking it and quickly walking towards the entrance of the tall building she'd been living in for the past six years; it didn't take her long to arrive in front of her apartment and unlock the door.

As soon as she stepped in, a content sigh escaped her lips, she was happy to feel a warmer temperature against the skin of her face.

Hailey swiftly got rid of her jacket and placed it onto the coat hanger. She unlocked her phone and replied to Jay's text, telling him she was home safe and sound and that he could go to bed now, wishing him to sleep well.

She noticed that the numbers on top of the screen signaled a way too low level of the battery, so she walked towards her bedroom and slightly bent over to take the plug and insert it, then placed the device onto her bedside.

"Well, that's certainly a nice view."

Hailey jumped as she heard that unfamiliar, husky voice, but wasn't even given the time to properly react because while she was trying to turn around she felt her arms getting blocked from behind.

She could smell the nicotine on the callous fingers that reached for her chin, tightening forcefully.

Hailey tried to get free from the man's strong grasp, frantically kicking his legs, sometimes failing at aiming them.

She managed to get his right knee, making him slightly lose the firmness with which he was keeping her close against him.

Her mind shut down, immediately going into defense mode.  
The blonde raised her arm, hitting his nose with her elbow, and turned around to face him, to see _who_ was assaulting her.

"Son of a–" the man groaned, his breathing got more ragged as one of his hands immediately went to the injured part.

He didn't focus on it, nor did let go of Hailey. He was taller and visibly stronger than her—making his nose bleed was the maximum pain she could strive to inflict upon him, and it seemed like they both knew that.

The man wore a balaclava so the only body parts she could see were his eyes and his blood-stained mouth, but due to the closeness of their bodies, Hailey's nostrils were filled with a smell she was familiar with. It was the smell of metal, of blood.

It made her almost gag and it became worse when the man wrapped his hand around her neck, his lips in a smirk, easily overpowering her and attempting to prevent her from breathing by choking her.

"What now, blondie?" he spat as her face got red, the veins on her temples prominent, like they were ready to burst any minute, due to the lack of oxygen.

Hailey was visibly struggling, her blue eyes wide and matching the ones of her opponent—the only difference, his eyes were wide out of enjoyment.

The moment she thought he had some mercy, loosening the grip around her neck, she was instantly proved wrong. In fact, the man extracted a cloth from his pockets and, as Hailey was trying to gather some air to inhale, her mouth and nostrils wide open, he pressed the cloth against her face to make sure she couldn't breathe. And not only that.

Hailey could tell the cloth had been soaked in some sort of chemicals, an intoxicating one.

She tried to reach for the man's face, his arms, any body part would've been good. But she felt her strengths slowly abandon her like they were fading away. It was getting hard to even be on her feet, as her legs were starting to feel weaker and weaker.

The main struggle, though, was to keep her eyes open. Her eyelids felt heavy, keeping them high, and vigilant was proving to be a mammoth task.

A single, lonely tear escaped from the corner of her eye, getting quickly absorbed by the cloth still pressed on her face. She managed to emit a muffled sob, her body trembling in fear of what was going to happen next.

The man who was holding her still shook his head at that, his lips still curled in a smirk. "No, it's okay. Don't cry, Kelly," he mumbled softly, reaching for a strand of her hair and curling it in between his fingers, staining it with his own blood.

Hailey's eyes widened for one last time the moment she heard the name she'd been called with, but it was like that simple gesture absorbed all of the remaining strength her body was saving.

Her trembling eyelids slowly shut down, her body gave up on her as it collapsed between her assaulter's arms, "That's it, Kelly, good girl," he muttered as he slightly crouched to lift Hailey's unconscious body and carry it on his shoulder. "Sleep tight, detective."

_(pray for light of day, right away)_


	2. Red right hand

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Almost 5K words... I'm sorry/you're welcome lol

**J** ay arrived at the district with two coffee cups in his hands. He was already stressing, wondering how he would manage to open the door without making a mess. Luckily, an officer was going towards the main entrance as well and after seeing he had his hands full, she opened the door for him.

"Thanks," he smiled in her direction and saw her immediately blush.

Officer Burke, that's what was written on the name-tag on her uniform, showed him a bright smile, her cheeks slightly red, and then followed him as he entered the building.

Jay nodded at her to acknowledge her and then his attention got caught by Sgt. Platt behind the desk, she was motioning for him to come to her. He obliged and approached her with a tight-lipped smile, and was welcomed by her signature poker face.

"Chuckles. Do I look like the postman to you?" she asked rhetorically, suppressing the urge to roll her eyes.

" _Detective_ Chuckles," Jay corrected her as usual, making the woman scoff.

Jay liked to think he knew how to handle her after all these years—ignoring her without being impolite was the key.  
"What you got for me?"

He heard her grunt a little, defeated at her own game before it even started, and a smug, victorious smile appeared on Jay's face. Platt handed him a medium-sized box and just looked at him.

Jay frowned a little but shrugged when he lifted his gaze and saw his superior silently questioning him about what they were staring at.

Platt shook her head at him, annoyed because he didn't feed her curiosity, and was ready to get back to doing her paperwork, but she felt a pair of eyes burning two holes towards hers and Jay's direction and that made her even _more_ annoyed—mostly because _she_ wasn't the object of admiration.

"Burke, you're not gonna be able to count the freckles on his face. Get back to work!" she scolded her, making the young girl blush immediately. The pink color on her cheeks ultimately became red when she felt Jay's eyes on her too, her instant reaction was to drop her gaze to her shoes, before excusing herself and disappearing behind her sergeant.

"You're evil," Jay commented but chuckled at the situation.

"Proudly so," Platt retorted with a knowing look, a faint hint of a smile on her lips.

Jay managed to put one of the cups between his torso and inner arm, securing it in the best way he could think of at the moment, he held the other in one hand and the box in the other.  
_Next time I'm getting two cup-holders_ , he mentally reminded himself.

"Can you buzz me up? I've got my hands full, you know," he gave Platt a sheepish smile, slightly raising his eyebrows.

Trudy pressed her hand on the buzz, its sound briefly echoing. "Bye, Chuckles," she didn't bother to look at his face.

Jay amusedly shook his head, "Have a nice day," he mumbled, before heading towards the stars.

He managed to help himself open the door with his foot and he sighed once he was finally upstairs, relieved he didn't drop anything along the way. Jay wasn't a clumsy person at all, but it was still early morning and his reflexes weren't at their best, especially since he didn't sleep at all at night.

After having that terrible nightmare involving Hailey, all Jay did was go to bed just to toss and turn, trying to not replay the images he'd dreamed of—which ended up in failure.

"Hey," he greeted Kim as he walked towards his desk, not surprised to see she was already there.

Kim was eating a granola bar while getting rid of the extra stuff on her desk. "Morning," she quickly waved at him.  
The brunette couldn't help but chuckle a little when she saw Jay place one of the two cups on Hailey's desk, but that sound didn't go overlooked by him.

Jay turned to face her and narrowed his eyes, catching her eyeing his partner's desk. "What?" he asked.

Kim shook her head and shrugged, even though she was clearly trying to suppress a smirk. She didn't know if the questioning look was only a facade or if he genuinely didn't get what she was hinting—she was pretty sure the second option was the most solid.

Something seemed to click in Jay's mind, because he quietly scoffed, tilting his head. "It's just coffee," he mumbled, sitting on his chair and pointing his elbows onto the wooden surface of his desk.

Kim nodded eagerly, a knowing expression on her face. "I've been in this unit for what? Five, six years? You've never brought me coffee," she retorted, taking the last bite from her granola bar and tossing its wrapper into the bin next to her leg.

Jay chuckled loudly at her words, knowing they were true. "Do you want me to bring _you_ coffee? I'll start tomorrow," he teased her, scratching the back of his head.

"Not what I meant, but if you want to…"

He shook his head, getting lost in his thoughts for just a few seconds. Jay didn't think bringing coffee to his friend was such a big deal, but Kim was right—he'd never brought _her_ coffee even though she'd known her for a longer time than Hailey.

But then again, he and Kim weren't really close. They got along, they were friends and he cared for her, but with Hailey… it was different. Their _bond_ was different, she was probably the only person he truly trusted with his life, _of course_ it was different, deeper.

He took a sip of the dark beverage and "It's just coffee," he repeated in a whisper, though he wasn't directly talking to Kim. He was speaking more to himself, and the brunette, who was silently studying his behavior, thought those words were pronounced to convince himself, more than anybody else.

The two briefly shared a look and then Jay cleared his throat, taking his phone from the pocket of his jeans and sending a message to his partner, letting her know that her coffee was waiting for her—the coffee, not him.

Adam arrived about ten minutes later, two cups of coffee in his hands. The irony.  
He handed one to Kim who, right after thanking him, glimpsed at Jay only to find him already staring at her with a smirk on his lips.

She blushed immediately and didn't dare to hold his gaze, focusing on her hot (too hot) coffee and acting as though nothing had happened. Jay didn't need to say anything, but he had a point, everything he was thinking at that very moment was loud and clear.

Jay checked the time on his phone, noticing Hailey hadn't replied to his message yet. Not a big deal, she was probably getting ready to work.

It _became_ a big deal when he saw Vanessa enter the bullpen along with Kevin and not her roommate.

He checked his phone again and still, there were no texts from Hailey.  
The now familiar feeling of uncomfort he had the previous night came back to hit him right in the stomach, it even made it difficult to sit still in his chair, but he tried to ignore it and blame it on the mental tiredness he was feeling that morning.

Jay was so distracted by his thoughts that he didn't even notice Vanessa walking towards him: "Hey, where's Hailey?" she asked, her eyebrows slightly furrowed.

"I thought you two would drive together," Jay responded, matching her confused expression.

Vanessa lowered her gaze and then looked back at him, "Uhm I… I didn't go home last night," she told him almost in a whisper. She blushed a little while saying those words, and she felt her face getting even more flushed when she caught Jay eyeing Kevin, visibly understanding why they'd entered the bullpen at the same time.

He hummed and nodded, inhaling sharply. The brunette leaned on Hailey's desk and crossed her arms on her chest, staring at the concerned expression she knew Jay was trying to hide behind a serious face.

"She probably just woke up late and is now stuck in traffic," she tried to reassure him, shrugging her shoulders, her voice relaxed.

It wasn't enough to calm Jay's nerves **,** but he didn't want to fret about it. Vanessa's explanation made sense, he knew nothing could come in between Hailey and her sweet sleep, she probably was just enjoying some extra minutes of it.

"Yeah, maybe," he muttered, biting his bottom lip.

* * *

A splash of cold water made her gasp, shiver, and start coughing. It forced her to open her eyes, even though it seemed the hardest task to do since she felt her eyelids were too heavy.

Hailey blinked rapidly, slowly regaining consciousness and moving her head around. The movement caused her to feel a sharp pain in the back of her neck. She groaned, trying to reach for it, but found herself incapable of doing so because her hands couldn't reach it.

She widened her eyes and looked at them. They were stuck in two pairs of handcuffs and each of them was clasped to a non-working radiator. The cold metal caused a shudder to run down Hailey's spine, her lips trembling.

"Rise and shine, blondie," she heard a voice singing.

Hailey lifted her gaze just to meet a pair of green eyes, lit by the sun rays coming from a wide window.  
They weren't the familiar green color that she was used to seeing behind her partner's eyelids—the ones that brought her a sense of comfort and warmth. Instead, she was staring at two hollow eyes, they were cold and made her feel threatened.

Her mind was flooded by the memories ofthe previous night when she was abducted by the man that was grinning at her as if the dazed state she was in was amusing him.  
She also remembered his voice calling for her, using the name Kelly.

Hailey took a deep, shaky breath, her heart thumping fast in her chest. "Who-who are you?" she stammered, feeling her mouth dry. She licked her lips, trying to provide them with a remote, weak idea of wetness… She was thirsty.

She looked around, studying the room she was being held captive in. Hailey wasn't sure, but it seemed like an abandoned warehouse. It was wide and cold, and the only source of light and somewhat warmth came from the big windows filtering the sun rays.

There was another man with them. He was staring off, bent onto the table with a syringe in his hand—he was too high to care about what was going on around him.

Hailey shivered, feeling cold droplets leave the end of her hair and go onto her skin, each of them feeling like a sharp stab. "How do you know my name?"

The man chuckled at her confusion, his pupils wide. "It _is_ your name, now isn't it?" he asked rhetorically. ignoring her first question and sniffling angrily. He knew that wasn't her real name. "I know people," he declared after a few seconds, causing Hailey to look at him in confusion.

With her shaky voice, "What do you want?" she asked again. Hailey was cold, her wet hair wasn't helping the cause and her dry throat was starting to hurt. But she needed to know what was going on, why she was being targeted.

He sat in front of her, his legs crossed. He snickered, the amused smile was still on his face. "I'm a man of his word," he said boring deeply into her eyes just to find her stare was blank. "My friend there… he just needs some product," he added then, tilting his head and pointing at his partner.

The sudden move he made to raise his hand caused Hailey to flinch and he laughed at her fright. He started caressing her face, brushing his callous fingers onto the blonde's pale but soft skin. "You're very pretty, you know? You've always been beautiful. Unfortunately, I made a promise so... I won't touch you," his thumb now touching her bottom lip. Hailey tried to pull away, but the man strengthened the grip on her chin, "I've always been jealous of Garrett," he confessed.

Hailey's eyes lit up at the mention of that name. She felt her heart sink, her insides churn.  
The features on her face hardened, she was angry and _eager_ to know more. "Who are you?" her voice was now harsh, decisive.

The man scoffed dramatically at the shift in her demeanor. Her body was tensed, the metal of the handcuffs clinking against the radiator. "You don't remember me? That's not okay, Kelly"—he furrowed his brows and exhaled heavily—"that's really not okay," his jaw tensed as he started gritting his teeth.

"You two did us all dirty, tricked us into trusting you. You thought you were smarter, uh?" he lifted her chin, staring at her with hatred. "Well, _Hailey_ , you weren't," he chuckled, his lips curled in a smug smile.

"You're a cop and you're, well, _here_ ," he said matter-of-factly, an accomplished expression on his face. "And your boyfriend, well _former_ boyfriend…"

Hailey sniffled, only now recognizing who the person in front of her was. Her eyes were wet, they felt heavy, the realization hitting her and making her shiver in fear.  
His name was Dean Sullivan and, "I was there when it happened, and when he took his last breath... he had fear in his eyes," she was now sure he was involved in Garrett's disappearance.

It made her sick that the person who had hurt one of the most important people in her life was right in front of her—making fun of her pain, finding it amusing—and she couldn't do anything about it.

"He was scared I was gonna come for you, too," he started explaining, his voice in a mocking tone. "He _was_ right after all, wasn't he?" Dean grinned at her.

Hailey didn't react and that seemed to piss him off. He tightened his grip around her chin even more. "I said, he was right, wasn't he, bitch?!" he grunted.

The blonde couldn't help but spit on his face, her glossy eyes watching him defiantly. She knew it wasn't a smart move, but she couldn't just sit there and say nothing, _do_ nothing, after hearing what he'd just told her.

Hailey wasn't surprised when he raised his hand and smacked her face with the back of it—his knuckles hitting her bottom lip. The taste of blood followed right after, almost making her gag.

She watched him wipe his face and then he stood up. Before turning around, he pointed his fingers at her: "I guess it was a lot to take in, so I'm gonna give you a free pass," he warned her. "But next time this happens?"—he motioned his hand between the two of them—"I'll give you a little taste of what your superhero boyfriend went through," he turned around and joined his friend who was lying onto the table, high as a kite.

Hailey wiped her mouth on her shoulder, feeling the sharp pain on her neck once again, and looked at the ground.  
It was like all the new information was now hitting her all at once, sinking in.

Garrett was dead. Although she had always been convinced he was murdered, part of her always wished he was just gone somewhere else, alive, happy. Not knowing gave her some sense of hope she'd been holding onto for all these years, a hope Dean had taken away from her when confessing what went through.

She suppressed a sob as her mind was registering the fact that his last thought was directed to her.  
It wasn't a comforting feeling, it was crushing her heart.

* * *

"If Zhang is in town, then the deal must be big, huge. Also, we'll have to work with Narcotics on this one, they're the ones who got more information on him," Voight's gruff voice arrived somewhat muffled in Jay's ears, too distracted by his own thoughts.

All his co-workers were at the bullpen, their eyes focused on their Sergeant, except for Hailey.  
Jay couldn't deny his worry anymore, she hadn't responded to any of his texts or calls and it was very unlikely for her. Hailey always warned him whenever she was late, and he still didn't hear from her.

Jay understood Voight was done explaining the new case to the Unit when he heard a bunch of "copy that" coming from his friends.  
He blinked rapidly, trying to focus again. He took a deep breath and cleared his throat, approaching his Sergeant.

Before he could even formulate any words, "Where's Upton?", Voight asked, putting his hands in the pockets of his jeans.

Jay furrowed his eyebrows, the features on his face hard. "Yeah, about that, Sarge… I'm getting kinda worried, I haven't heard from her since yesterday and she won't answer my calls…" He started rambling, nervously scratching the back of his neck.

Voight hummed and even though he didn't look at him, Jay knew he was listening, "Did you ask-"

He nodded. "Vanessa, yeah, but she said she slept at a friend's house, so she has no clue where Hailey could be. She thought she was already here when she arrived," Jay was talking fast, but it wasn't as obvious. "I think I should go check at her house," he added then, sighing and biting his bottom lip.

Voight now looked at him with a pensive expression. He shook his head and "Jay, I can't have both my detectives gone," he mumbled, making sure only the two of them could hear their conversation.

"Sarge, c'mon… it's Hailey."

Voight huffed, studying the concerned look on the detective's face. He knew that Jay usually didn't get anxious over anything, so the reason behind his worry might've been serious.  
After a few seconds, "You stay here, I'll go check on her. You're in charge until you hear from me or Platt," Hank declared.

Jay stared at him with a hesitant look but ultimately nodded, silently agreeing on the deal.

When Hank went to his office to gather his jacket and phone, Jay released a heavy sigh—he didn't know if it was out of anguish or relief. Voight lightly patted his shoulder as he got out, walking towards the stairs.

Jay followed him with his eyes, almost hypnotized, nervous to know the outcome of Hank's visit to Hailey's house. It was only when Adam snapped his fingers in front of his face that he came back to reality, blinking rapidly and trying to momentarily focus on the case they were assigned.

It took Hank twenty minutes to arrive in front of Hailey's house. He showed his badge to the concierge and easily entered the building, getting in front of the door of the blonde's apartment.

He pushed on the doorknob and became suspicious when he saw that the door opened effortlessly. It wasn't locked.

Hank immediately reached for his gun in his holster and grabbed it, straightening his arms and pointing it in front of him, just in case someone was in the house.

He walked around Hailey's house: the living room and the kitchen were clear, nothing seemed to be out of place. Voight also went to Vanessa's bedroom—checked her closet and under the bed— but even there, he found nothing suspicious.

The moment he entered Hailey's room, though, he was surprised to see it in a complete mess. He unconsciously held his breath when he looked at the ground and then the inside door handle, and saw traces of blood. It seemed like somebody had been bleeding and then touched the walls as well as the doorknob.

Voight cursed in a whisper, took his phone with his free hand, and dialed Platt's number, continuing to search the house because he needed to make sure every room was clear.

"Platt," he heard Trudy's voice on the other side of the line.

Voight's Jaw clenched, "Trudy. Tell the team to meet me at 62 Spinnaker Lane A-S-A-P. It's about Hailey."

* * *

Hailey's half-lidded eyes widened when she heard somebody shouting in the room. She wetted her lips and winced as her tongue brushed on the open wound; it was swollen and she could still taste the dried out blood on them.

"She hit your fucking nose and you bled in her house, that's evidence, stupid asshole!" she heard the junkie yell at Dean, who had a perplexed look on his face, which had turned into a pale color. It almost seemed like he was ready to/going to throw up any time soon.

Hailey could feel her heart's pace quicken as her eyes locked with the man Dean had been calling Theo this whole time.

He marched towards her, his expression filled with anger. He stared at her like a bull would look at a matador holding some red fabric.

"And it's all this blonde bitch's fault," he abruptly gripped her neck, making her gasp.

Her head hit the radiator as he harshly let go of her, but Theo didn't give her the time to process what was going on. Hailey coughed when his foot hit her abdomen, her stomach now contracted.

Theo repeated the move a couple more times, accompanying every hit with an insult, causing the blonde to start coughing blood, and that was the clue for Dean to try to stop his partner.

Hailey was now slumped over, her body curled up on the ground and her mouth filled with blood.  
It was hard for her to breathe, it hurt to do so. She felt like she had the heaviest of weights pressing hard on her chest, making her almost choke every time she tried to inhale some air.

"Dude! If she dies we won't get the money!" Dean shouted, pulling Theo from his shoulders and pushing him away from Hailey.

He stared down at her and then groaned loudly, pulling his hair in frustration, hearing Theo's footsteps walking back and forth.

It hit him, then. He took a deep breath and turned to Theo. "Okay, I know a place"—he saw his eyes lit up—"but we need to get there, like, _now_ , man," he declared without elaborating too much.

Dean turned back to Hailey, pulling her in a sitting position and making her whimper. He took a tiny key from the pocket of his jeans and undid the handcuffs around the blonde's wrists, while Theo was collecting all of their stuff so they wouldn't leave evidence of them being there.

Hailey was in bad shape, she couldn't even stand up properly, but that didn't stop Dean from restraining her wrists again, this time using only one pair of handcuffs.

The blonde wheezed, trying to stay as balanced as she could, although her legs felt like jelly.

"Come on, D. Hurry the fuck up, man!" Theo exclaimed, one of his feet already out of the door.

Dean rolled his eyes at his edginess. He lifted Hailey's body, placing it on his shoulder.  
She didn't even have the strength to complain or fight back, still focused on her breathing.

While they were exiting the warehouse, Hailey managed to open her eyes enough for her to see that the sun had already set, the sky was getting darker and darker with each footstep they were taking.  
The wind hit her face, making her blonde hair wave, her body tremble with shivers.

With her cheek facing Dean's back, she looked around and figured they were going to get in his car.

"Put her in the trunk," she heard Theo's voice direct to Dean. The latter obliged and soon opened the boot, putting Hailey's body in it and closing in with a loud noise echoing—the fact that the blonde didn't even try to protest felt like a win.

He went to the passenger seat with a smug smile, satisfaction written on his face.

Little did he know that, before being tossed in that trunk, Hailey had smoothly removed her light-blue hair tie from her wrist, throwing it on the ground and starting to pray under her breath.

* * *

Kim was sitting at her desk, her cheeks flushed and her usually perky, brown eyes now red and hollow. She sniffled, quickly wiping a tear that had escaped from her eyes, and sighed heavily, reading the paper she was finding hard to focus on.

She received a sympathetic, sad smile from Kevin, while Adam lightly squeezed her shoulder as he walked towards Hank's office.

Voight had given them the order to look into the files of every single person Hailey had arrested throughout her whole career. Maybe it was a bit intense, but every option was plausible at this point and the m.o. in which Hailey had been abducted suggested that her kidnapper somehow knew her.

Actually, kidnapper _s_. The footage from the security cameras showed that she was taken by two men. One of them was inside her house, while the other was waiting in their car, ready for the right moment to take off.

It was the same footage that Jay was replaying on his computer, again and again, his eyes fixated on Hailey's figure. The images were blurred, you couldn't really distinguish the different faces, but her blond hair was still easily noticeable.

He didn't know if he felt more angry or worried, all Jay knew was that the feeling was consuming his stomach, his lungs, making it hard to even _try_ to take a deep breath.

And sitting there reading those damn files didn't feel right, it made him feel useless. He knew he should've been out there, searching through every alley in Chicago to find his partner.

But he and Voight had made a deal, right when they were at Hailey's house, which, by the way, was now being considered as a crime scene.

" _If you even think about crossing the line, I'm benching you,"_ he'd told him after Voight tried to get him off the case because, according to him, he was _too close_.  
Which made Jay protest because, of course he was too close, they'd taken his partner!

Jay closed his eyes as he rewatched the video footage for the umpteenth time, pressing his shaky hands on his face. He was tired and he felt useless and all he wanted to do was scream, or punch a wall or any other thing, just… he wanted to get rid of that feeling of desperation that he _knew_ was going to break him sooner or later.

He got up and walked to the break-room. The bullpen was crowded with the detectives and officers of the major police organizations of Chicago; they were there to help them find Hailey, but their voices were only giving him a headache and, to be frank, pissing him off.

 _I should be outside right now_ , he kept repeating to himself, almost obsessively.

When he entered the break-room Jay was quite surprised to find Vanessa was already there. She was sitting at the table, her stack of files next to her. She was reading some papers while furiously trying to wipe her tears, though they seemed to have no intention to stop streaming.

Vanessa lifted her head as she heard the faint noise of the door closing, immediately locking eyes with Jay. He quickly averted his gaze, shifting it on to the coffee machine. He went to make himself some coffee, hoping it would wipe his tiredness away.

Jay felt guilty for being tired, imagining the danger in which Hailey most likely was—he had no right to complain.  
And Vanessa too had no right to cry at that moment. Her sniffles were annoying him.  
(Was Hailey crying?)

Vanessa watched him grit his teeth in anger, his jaw clenched. Her sense of guilt multiplied. "I'm so sorry, Jay," she whispered, her voice shaky. Jay didn't look at her, but she knew he'd heard her. His response—well, lack of—proved that her suspicions were right: Vanessa blamed herself and was convinced that they wouldn't be there if she had gotten home with Hailey, and judging by Jay's cold behavior towards her, he thought so too.

Jay stayed silent and poured the coffee in his mug, the corner of his eyes detecting Hailey's own mug and making him tremble. He hid the shakiness of his hands by taking a hold of the mug, its hotness slightly burning his palm.

" _Sorry_ won't bring her back to me," he spat, his voice low but harsh.

Those were the last words he pronounced before exiting the break room, with Vanessa's muffled sob echoing through his head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! :)  
> The chapter is long af so I'll try to be as quick as I can.  
> I'm sorry for hurting Hailey and Jay and Vanessa and basically all of them... forgive me? :3
> 
> Nah but for real, I hope you like this chapter and idk, I kinda wanna know your opinions on something: should I make the chapters a little shorter, or do you enjoy these long ass chapters..? Because this one was almost 5K words and the last thing I wanna do is get you bored or something like that so... I need some feedback ahahah
> 
> Uhm, which part did you like the most (if you liked the chapter at all LOL)? Talk to me, talk to me :D  
> I personally liked the interaction between Vanessa and Jay in the last part, I love this duo (and WolfEnt took it from me before they could even make it a proper duo!)  
> Also Jake and Kate talking to each other? Feels kind of surreal LMFAO
> 
> I asked you a question in the last chapter and some of you got the right answer, but there's more to come... stay tuned if you want to see the whole picture ;)
> 
> I said I was gonna be short, so ehm... Thank you so much for all your super super kind comments, you're so nice to me, I adore every single one of you!
> 
> Thank you for the support. Stay happy and healthy,
> 
> Fanta Enrica xx


	3. In the air tonight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all apparently enjoy them, so here's another long ass chapter. Hope you like it! :)

**A** ll heads turned to Adam as he rushed into the bullpen, a tired look on his face. "Guys," he quickly went next to the whiteboard and raised his arm, a picture in his hand. He turned around to face his co-workers, "The blood sample matched with Sean Donovan, though he has no priors, it's just connected to a car accident from five years ago," he explained, scratching the back of his neck and not daring to look at his friends' eyes.

"Listen, I know it's not much, but we got an address so maybe we can start from there..?" he mumbled, giving an unsure look to his Sergeant.

Voight sighed, examining the officer's expression. He then nodded slightly, "What's the address?"

Adam quickly glanced at the paper he was holding, "518 Cecil Street."

"Wait, that address sounds familiar," Sgt. Platt stepped in, all eyes got onto her. She furrowed her brows as if doing it could help her remember where the familiarity came from.  
  
And then she remembered. "Jay, what about that box I gave you this morning?" she asked the detective. He had his arms crossed on his chest and was attentively listening to Adam's words, a stern look on his face.

"Wha-what about it?" he asked in confusion after clearing his throat. "I didn't get the time to open it," he explained.  
  
Jay crouched down to take the box he had put on the ground that morning—he needed to make some room in his desk among all the paperwork he had revised—and read the address as he stood up, "What the actual…" he trailed off, widening his eyes towards Platt.

"It's the same address," he managed to mumble, getting quick to open the box.

All his co-workers approached him and heard him sigh as he extracted a picture from the box, seeing what it depicted. "Son of a bitch," he spat, showing the photograph to Voight.

"Booth." Voight hissed, looking at a picture of Hailey and Ronald Booth.

Jay had to hold onto his desk, starting to feel lightheaded.  
Ronald Booth was behind Hailey's kidnapping and he'd given them a big clue that Jay had unintentionally ignored throughout the whole day.

They wouldn't have been there if he'd just… "Jay, don't go there," Platt shook his head at him as he read the expression on his face, his trembling hand pinching the bridge of his nose. She knew what was going through his mind and him thinking all of it was his fault wasn't going to help them find Hailey.

Jay ignored her piercing gaze, "I-What do we do now?" he asked no one in particular, keeping his eyes low on his hands, his knuckles now white from the strength with which he was holding the wooden desk.

"Wait, there's something written in the back," Vanessa noticed, taking the picture from Jay's shaking hand. "XIVLX eight three four three…" she kept reading under her breath, furrowing her brows.

It took her less than a minute to understand what that sequence of numbers meant. "Pen and paper," she motioned to Kevin with her hand, taking her phone from the pocket of the blue jeans she was wearing.  
She smoothly unlocked it and selected the option to dial a number.

"You think it's a number?" Platt asked in a skeptical tone. That seemed too easy.

Vanessa shook her head but didn't glance at her, taking the pen and paper from Kevin, a hopeful look in her eyes. "Thanks and no, it's not, I think it's an address."  
She showed them the screen of her phone and, "See how under each number there are three or four letters? Number two has A, B, and C. Number three has D, E, F, and so on…,"—she quickly glanced at the unit to make sure they were all following her—"The first number is the one we have to press onto, the second one stands for _how many times_ we have to press onto it to obtain a letter. Now let's see if I'm right… Uhm, anyone good with Roman ciphers?" she asked, already looking at Kim, knowing she was good with those types of things.

In the meantime, Adam was searching through Ronald Booth's file, trying to see if the name "Sean Donovan" popped out somewhere.

He had a hopeful feeling in his chest: they had finally found something solid to work onto after too many dead ends.  
The camera footage ended up being quite useless, the images were so blurred that even the best program on his computer couldn't detect the faces of the two kidnappers—or the car plates, for that matter.

But now the possibility of getting to Hailey somehow seemed more reachable, it wasn't that hard to imagine anymore.

"I got 14-60," Kim spoke, followed by Vanessa who, "And I got Victoria Street," she said with a tight-lipped smile, a burning sensation in her stomach and her eyes watery. Nothing was confirmed yet, but that was the most tangible lead they had managed to grasp onto. She just hoped it was legit.

"It's an abandoned warehouse," Kevin announced after a quick search. "Not at all unusual if you want to keep someone captive," he added then.

Adam leaned in his chair and raised his arm, his thumb playing with the cap of his pen. "Sarge, I looked through Booth's file. There's no Sean Donovan, but guess what?"—he lifted his brows, glancing at Voight—"there _is_ a Dean Sullivan, it sounds kind of similar," he concluded, getting up and placing the file onto Jay's desk. "I'm pretty sure he changed his name."

Jay stared at Booth's picture linked to his file and clenched his jaw, anger visible on his face. He thought they were done with him, that Hailey could put that awful chapter behind her. Ronald had caused her so much pain, a pain that she still was trying to recover from, and yet even behind the bars, he had managed to creep back into her life and tore it apart once again.

Kim reached for Jay's arm and squeezed it, trying to give him some comfort, but obtained the opposite reaction. His body stiffened at the contact and he closed his eyes as if that touch _really_ bothered him.

The brunette bit her bottom lip, regretting her gesture. "Sorry," she whispered, immediately retracting her hand.

Jay shook his head and straightened his posture. "So, we have two addresses," he pondered, touching his stubbly cheeks. "She's not at his house, that would be too easy," he mumbled in a sure tone, seeing his friends nod at him.

"Yeah, but I'll send a unit just to make sure," Platt said, glad to see he'd gone back to his work-mode and that his feelings were not getting the best of him—now wasn't the time.

She nodded at him and Voight and then quickly walked to go downstairs.

"'Kay. Burgess and Ruzek, you two search for every address that might be connected to that Sean, Dean, whatever his name is," Voight glanced at the officers who immediately started typing on their keyboards. "The rest of you, you're with me. We're going to that address," his voice was stern, authoritarian.

They all went to take their weapons and jackets and were now set to go downstairs to their cars. Before taking the last step, "Phones on, you'll either hear from me or Trudy," Voight exclaimed and then exited the bullpen.

Once he was gone, Adam emitted a heavy sigh, tilting his head back and putting his fingers through his hair. When his eyes landed on Kim, noticing the bouncing of her leg under her desk, "Hey," he caught her attention.

Kim looked at him, her brown eyes soft. "We're gonna bring her back," Adam asserted, smiling her way.

He saw her exhale heavily, "I know," she nodded, showing him a tight-lipped smile and getting back to find those addresses.

* * *

"Dude, are you for real?!" the exclamation arrived almost muffled to Hailey's ears, startling her. She opened her eyes, blinking rapidly and checking her surroundings.

The room was smaller than the one she was kept in when she was at the warehouse, but the coldness she was feeling in her bones reminded her of it.

Dean had brought them to an abandoned house, they were now in the living room.

It was quite small and Hailey would've thought it was cozy had it not been for the lack of a source of heat in it. There was a fireplace in front of her, but it was not working and she was freezing—especially since it had started snowing.

The blonde was shivering with cold, the metal keeping her hands cuffed behind her back was clinking. She slowly lifted her head, turning to the left, and couldn't help but moan in disgust at the sight in front of her.

She was looking at Theo's lifeless body, his blue lips covered in dried foam, signaling he'd overdosed.

The sound coming from Hailey's mouth didn't go unnoticed by Dean, who was pacing back and forth in the living room, scratching the back of his head and mumbling under his breath.

He didn't seem agitated by what had just happened, though. He mainly looked annoyed.

Hailey closed her mouth to suppress a sob when she saw Dean stop his pacing to stare at her. She firmly pressed her lips together but wasn't able to stop her tears from streaming down her face.

Dean had a smug smile on his face, he seemed amused. "You're crying for that crackhead?" he exclaimed in an exhilarated tone, walking back next to Theo's body.

He poked at his inert leg with his foot, "I mean, he had it coming," he commented, turning back to her and shrugging as if nothing had happened.

Dean had an unsettlingly emotionless gaze that freaked Hailey out, it was pointless to deny the fact that he scared the hell out of her. It was visible in the way her lips were trembling against her teeth, she knew it wasn't only because of the cold.

Hailey's tired eyes closed and she turned her head, trying to erase the thought that she was sharing the room with a dead and a psychopath that seemed to have no intention of letting her free, nor killing her.  
Why didn't he kill her?

* * *

The wheels of Voight's SUV screeched when he stopped the car. Before he could even turn the engine off, Jay rushed out of it, taking large steps as he walked towards the warehouse.

It was dark, so he held a torch in his left hand, while the right one was next to his thigh holster, just in case.

Behind him were Kevin and Vanessa, who entered the warehouse along with him, while Voight stayed behind, quickly examining the safety of the area.

Jay signaled the two officers that he was going to take the stairs and then entered a large space, the light of the streetlamps coming through the wide windows. He moved his torch around to see if there was anyone, but quickly understood he was the only one in there, Kevin and Vanessa still downstairs clearing the area.

He sighed disappointedly, figuring they encountered another dead end. How many were on the way before they could finally get to Hailey?

Jay walked around but stopped as soon as his torch lit up an object on the ground, next to the radiator. He went close to it and crouched down, his breath hitching at the sight in front of him.

He'd found a pair of handcuffs, the floor was bloodstained. He didn't need a genius to tell him what went through: the kidnappers had cuffed Hailey and most probably beaten her, it wasn't crazy to suppose the blood was hers.

He took the handcuffs in his hand, his grip tight around the metal. Jay felt so numb that he didn't even hear Kevin and Vanessa walk in his direction, the light of their torches made it easier to see what they were looking at.

"Jay," Vanessa kept on calling the detective's name, but it was in vain. She crouched down to his level, catching sight of his face. His eyes were fixated on the blood on the floor, they were red and somehow had gotten darker. She didn't know what was going through his mind, although she had a vague idea—but at the moment they didn't have time for that.

The only priority now was Hailey, everything else came after.

"Jay," she repeated, absentmindedly placing her hand on his shoulder.

Vanessa immediately understood it was a mistake because Jay got up and snapped and _oh_ , it was scary, she'd never seen that look in his eyes. "Why are you even here, Vanessa? Did you find anything? No? Then get out of here, thank you," he said bitterly, scratching his brow and not daring to look at her.

Vanessa had been silently trying to make sure he was okay throughout the whole day and it annoyed him because he felt like he didn't deserve it.

Kevin stepped forward, furrowing his brow and, "Hey, man, cut the crap. This"—he moved his hand referring to their surroundings—"is not her fault," he defended his partner, who had taken a step back as soon as Jay spat his words at her.

"And it's _my_ fault, right? Isn't it?" Jay raised his voice, not noticing that Voight had entered the place as well. He shook his head, his trembling hand ruffling his hair: "We always, _always_ are like ten steps behind them and Hailey's out there, we don't know where, we don't know what they're doing to her, we know absolutely nothing, and I had the hint in that damn box and… God!" he started rambling incoherently and Vanessa could've sworn his eyes were getting watery. At this point, he didn't care if his friends could see him being vulnerable or if they were thinking he was going crazy, that was the last of his concerns.

"It's not your fault."

"Yeah, man, Vanessa's right. You couldn't have known," Kevin nodded vehemently, trying to be as convincing as possible even though he _knew_ who he was talking to. "Now c'mon, let's go outside," he approached him but made sure not to touch him.

They turned back, ready to get out of there. Before they took the stairs, Hank looked at Kevin. He pursed his lips and nodded his way, silently telling him he was going to keep an eye on Jay."

Once they stepped their feet out, Kevin immediately noticed some tire tracks. He patted Jay's back, "Hey, there was a car there"—he pointed out the place with his chin—"maybe we can see in which direction they were headed," he said, earning an uncertain nod from Jay.

Jay was looking at the ground with his torch, trying to find some clue. He crouched down and, once again, he detected something he wasn't sure he wanted to see.

He recognized it, that was Hailey's hair tie—the light blue one she always had, whether it was to tie her hair in a ponytail, or around her wrist when she kept it loose.

As he understood his detective had found something, Voight approached him.

Jay turned to his sergeant: "That's Hailey's. She left it here," he muttered with a limp in his throat.

Hank stared at him solemnly, hurt visible in Jay's eyes. He took his phone from his pocket and dialed Adam's number: "Ruzek, I need those addresses right now."

* * *

Hailey twitched as the front door opened. Dean entered the house, the strong smell of cigarettes and the cold coming in with him.

The blonde looked at him and he seemed to have a relaxed expression on his face. In the hours they had spent together, she'd understood that it was easy to get on his nerves and annoy him. Dean didn't have much patience.

"Can I use the bathroom?" she asked him as soon as he put his foot into the living room. She didn't know where she got the courage to formulate that question, she just blurted it out without even thinking.

Dean stared at her with his head tilted, and a skeptical expression on his face, weighing out his options. "You can go"—he heard her sigh—"but you're not getting out of those," he decided, pointing at the handcuffs with his index finger. "I'm sure you'll figure something out," he added then, chuckling at himself.

Hailey swallowed hard, her throat was starting to really bother her. After struggling for a few seconds, she managed to get on her knees and then upon her feet, trying to find some balance as she felt everything around her spinning. She'd been sitting on the ground for too many hours, her legs felt weak and she was dehydrated—that definitely wasn't a great combo.

She felt a sharp pain on her abdomen while stretching up straight, but she suppressed the moan that was so forcefully trying to come out of her mouth.

Dean opened the bathroom door for her as she slowly walked in his direction. Once she entered the bathroom she turned around to face him, already understanding he had no intention of giving her any type of privacy.

"Please," she mumbled with pleading eyes, figuring that the only way to make him meet her halfway was to appease his ego, even if it meant begging him.

Dean groaned and rolled his eyes but eventually accepted Hailey's request, pushing her forward and closing the door behind her, not before giving her a warning, "Be quick."

Hailey exhaled heavily once she was left alone. She took a deep breath, regretting right after as she felt the now familiar sharp pain on her abdomen come back.  
She immediately went to the sink and tried to turn the tap on helping herself with her chin, but no water came out of it.  
_Of course, there's no water_ , she thought.

She then walked towards the window, only to find it had metal bars. Getting out from there was not a doable thing.

Hailey cried out frustratedly, trying to not be loud. As she was turning back, she saw a spike on the side of the window. It looked like it had been misplaced like it was going to eventually fall out from the wall.

An idea came to the blonde's mind, she just hoped it would work before Dean could even get the chance to be suspicious.  
Hailey turned around so her back was now facing the window and got on the tip of her toes, the movement caused her pain but she sucked it up—now wasn't the right time to start whining.

Her cuffed hands managed to reach the spike and she helped herself with her fingers in an attempt to extract it from the wall.

She made it wiggle in between her thumb and index finger and then used her other hand to pull it out, sighing once she finally held it in her hand. She was not over, though.

Hailey blindly inserted the spike into the holes of her handcuffs and held her breath, silently praying it didn't make any loud sounds. She struggled with it for a few seconds but eventually succeeded: the _clinking_ sound she heard was proof that her wrists, her hands, were now free.

Before they could fall on the ground, she caught the handcuffs and held them tight in her hands, still keeping them behind her back.

"Yo, Kelly, I said be qui-" Dean didn't even get to fully enter the bathroom and finish his sentence because Hailey rushed to him, raising her hand and hitting his face with the handcuffs.

Dean groaned loudly, immediately bending over and placing his hands on his face. It didn't last long, though. He tried to ignore the pain and stopped Hailey from sneaking out from the bathroom, "You stay here, fucking bitch!" he yelled, spitting some blood on the floor.

He blocked the door with his muscular body and pushed her, starting to hit her in the stomach.  
Hailey gasped but fought back, starting to kick him on his legs and attempting to repeat her first move with the handcuffs.

This time, though, Dean was quicker than her. He stopped her hand halfway and forcefully hit it, the pain caused her to let the handcuffs fall on the ground in a loud sound.

Dean hit her once again in the stomach, this time with a strong kick, and it made Hailey fall on her back, lifting her head just in time for her to not hit it on the floor. She tucked a leg in between Dean's and managed to make him fall onto her.

He reached for her neck, tightening his grip around it in an attempt to suffocate her. Hailey coughed and gasped, unsuccessfully trying to gather some air, but Dean's grip was getting tighter and tighter.

And then it was like she saw the light. Since he was onto her body, she looked at his front and saw he had hidden his gun guarded under the waistband of his jeans.

It took all of Hailey's strength to not focus on the fact that she was not breathing. She reached for Dean's gun and extracted it. He didn't have the time to understand what was going on because Hailey immediately aimed at _his_ stomach and pulled the trigger. A quick, loud noise echoed in the small room.

Hailey felt the grip around her throat getting looser, Dean was looking at her with wide eyes. _He_ was now gasping for air.

The blonde tried to slip from under his body but she felt a stinging pain on the right side of her lower abdomen. She glimpsed down at her body and saw a puddle of blood drenching her shirt. At first, she thought it was Dean's, but then why was _she_ feeling the pain?

Before she could touch the injured part, Hailey heard the sound of metal hitting the floor once again. She looked in the direction of the sound and saw it was a knife.

Dean had just stabbed her.  
Hailey let out a sob while pointing the gun at his chest once again, pulling the trigger for the second time and watching Dean take in his last breath. His body collapsed onto hers, his chest stopped from rising and falling.

Dean could no longer cause her any harm. He was dead and she was free.

Hailey managed to get his body off hers, pushing his chest so the body was now with the back against the bathtub.

Albeit with some difficulty, she managed to get on her feet, finally able to get a look at her wound. She carefully lifted her shirt and hissed when she saw the amount of blood that was streaming down her skin, staining the waistband of her jeans.

Hailey tried to focus and gather her thoughts. She scanned the room and saw that there were a bunch of washcloths she could've used to press on her wound, but she didn't know if they had been used or for how long they'd been there, and she didn't want to risk getting an infection.

She took a deep breath and got rid of her shirt, the only piece of clothing covering her now was her bra. Hailey clumped the shirt in her hand and pressed it onto her injury, groaning loudly because it hurt like hell, "Jesus!" she seethed.

She slightly bent over to take Dean's jacket and put it on to cover herself and then started searching for his phone, cursing when she noticed he didn't have one. She walked out of the bathroom and did the same with Theo's pockets, just to find out that he as well didn't have his phone with it. It was probably planned.

With one hand still pressing the shirt on her wound, she used the other to unlock the front door. She needed to get out of there.

Her face was immediately hit by the cold wind and before she could realize it, hot tears started streaming down her face. After spending hours not knowing if she was ever going to be able to feel it against her skin, Hailey decided that she was never _ever_ going to complain about it.

She couldn't describe how alive it made her feel.

Hailey wiped her tears and went through the driveway, walking by the roadside and hoping a car would stop to rescue her.  
Her heart was thumping fast in her chest, she was praying under her breath, gritting her teeth at the snowflakes that were falling on her hair, damping it.

Chicago at night was cold by default, but it could really get freezing when it snowed. Hailey could feel the rigidness of the weather right in her bones.

She didn't know how long she walked, all she knew was that her legs were getting weaker and her sight blurred, it was hard to focus on walking in a straight line without going on the road. At this point, she didn't know if the fact that there were no cars was a blessing or a curse.

And the snow at the roadside wasn't helping her cause, continuously making her slip now and then.

Hailey had no phone to call, she was losing blood at a concerning rate and for the first time on that day, the thought of not getting out of that situation alive crossed her mind.  
The last thread of hope she'd been holding onto was getting thinner and thinner with every step she took, evanescent.

She felt her chest getting tighter, making it difficult to breathe. Her head was getting heavier, making her dizzy.  
Hailey stopped, hunching over as she fell on her knees. She looked at the shirt in her hand, against her stomach, and saw it was drenched in blood—you could've squeezed it out of it.

Hailey tried to stay calm, but it wasn't an easy task. She crawled towards the trunk of a tree and sighed heavily when she leaned her back against it, somehow finding some sort of relief in being sat in that position, her hand still pressing on her wound.

She started blinking slowly, her eyelids getting heavier. Before she knew, she was no more capable of moving them open. Her breathing got slower, her skin began to feel numb. Hailey wasn't cold anymore, the wound in her stomach had stopped hurting her.

She felt nothing. It all became dark and silent as Hailey lied there, the snow piling up on her skin.

* * *

"Here, here, this is the address," Kim declared, slightly hitting Adam's arm and making Adam pull the brakes to stop the car.

The snow was coming down heavy, so once they stepped out of the car, the two of them carefully walked towards the house, going inside.

Their car was quickly met by the one Hank was driving. He parked the vehicle and he and Jay got out of it, the same happened with Vanessa and Kevin's SUV.

Once they were all out of their cars, "You two go inside to back Ruzek and Burgess," Voight instructed Vanessa and Kevin, who were looking around with the help of their torches.

"Jay, you stay here w-"

Hank didn't get the chance to finish his sentence because Vanessa interrupted her: "Sarge, there's a blood trail. Right there," she pointed her torch to the ground to lighten the path she was referring to.

Before anyone else could move (or even think), Jay had already started walking, following the trail of blood Vanessa had discovered.

The road was a bit slippery, but he managed to stay steady and not lose his balance. He started running—as best as he could—when he spotted Hailey's body against the tree trunk.

His heart stopped and then sank and then started racing as he got closer to her. "Sarge! Found her," he yelled, not bothering to turn around to check if somebody was behind him, "I need an ambulance!" he added once he saw the puddle of blood above her stomach.

Jay crouched down to Hailey, holding his breath once he understood she was unconscious. "Hey," he took off his jacket, noting that she'd been out in the cold for he didn't know how long.

"Hailey," he took her in his arms, her head resting on his lap. "C'mon, c'mon, c'mon," Jay exhaled heavily as he reached for her neck, putting his fingers in position to check if she still had a pulse.

He held his breath and then emitted a sigh of relief: it was faint and probably too slow, but Hailey still had a heartbeat.  
Jay patted her cheek, continuing to repeat her name, and then chuckled once he saw her eyes flutter, struggling to stay open. He heard a feeble moan escape from her mouth, so he caressed her face, in an attempt to console her and provide some sort of warmth as well.

"It's ok, I got you," he whispered as he held her tight, rocking her back and forth but doing it gently since he didn't want to compromise her already injured abdomen.

Hailey had blue lips, her skin had never looked so pale. "Jay…" she managed to whisper, somehow finding some comfort as she felt Jay's warm body against hers, "'M cold…" she added.

"I know, Hailey, I know. But hang tight, alright? Help is on the way," he tried to reassure her and then turned around, just to be met by Hank, who was helplessly looking at the two. "Where's that damned ambulance?" he seethed with his eyes wide, his jaw clenched.

They had finally found her, but Hailey wasn't in good shape, anyone could have said it.

"Hey, no, keep your eyes open," he patted her cheek again, trying to keep her awake.

It was breaking his heart to see her so helpless and vulnerable, and the thought that all of it could've been avoided if he didn't make that damned mistake would've haunted him till his last day.

Hailey used all the strength she had left but failed at trying to stay awake. She was too tired and she was cold and she knew she was safe in Jay's arms, she didn't have to worry anymore, right?

"Hailey..?" this time Jay got no response from the blonde, and his vision blurred as his mind automatically went thinking of the worst.

He sniffled but didn't dare to let her go. He held her against him, still swaying with her, her soaking wet hair slightly damping his exposed skin. "C'mon, Hails, don't do this to me," his whisper was almost inaudible, his voice broken.

Jay was so focused on Hailey that he didn't hear Hank saying his name several times. He wasn't ignoring him on purpose, it's just… his mind was elsewhere.

And since that was the case, Jay almost jumped as he felt his Sergeant's hand on his shoulder, attempting to catch his attention.

He turned around and quickly wiped his eyes, seeing that the paramedics of Ambulance 61 were standing next to Hank.

Voight went to get Jay on his feet so they could let Sylvie and Gianna do her job, and the detective looked around himself.

Kim was hidden behind Adam, her back facing his, she didn't dare to keep her eyes on the scene. Adam was holding her hand, not caring that Voight could see them.

Vanessa's face was covered in tears, while Kevin had his hand on her shoulders, squeezing them in comfort now and then.

Voight… he was staring at Jay, ready to deal with any and every type of reaction he was going to have, a reaction that didn't come, though.

Jay had gotten quiet, the movement of his body stilled. He looked paralyzed, emotionless, numb.  
He was observing everyone around him as if he wasn't fully comprehending what was going on.

He couldn't hear Sylvie and Gianna talking to each other, nor did he hear when they slightly lifted Hailey's body to put her on a gurney.

Jay was still numb when they transported the gurney towards the ambulance, getting her inside with the help of Kevin and Adam.

He too wanted to help, but Jay couldn't move.

He was stuck in his place, frozen, with a burning sensation blazing in his chest and then the pit of his stomach, going up and down his whole body.

And then, _boom!_ , Jay snapped back to reality and flinched when he heard the sound of the ambulance doors being closed with a loud thump.

"Jay, we gotta go," he looked in the direction of that gruff voice, Hank's.

 _We gotta go_ , he mentally repeated, trying to register the meaning of those words.

His feet, legs, started moving and before he could properly process it, he was sitting in the passenger seat of Voight's SUV.

"We're going to Med, okay?" Voight mumbled as he turned on the engine, checking on Jay with the corner of his eyes.

But Jay didn't respond nor shook his head in a nod. He was just blankly staring at the road, and the look he had in his now wide eyes… Hank was worried for him.

"What if she dies? What do I do?"

"Hailey's a tough one, she's not gonna die, you hear me kid?" Hank quickly turned his head at him and then focused back on the road in front of them.

Jay looked like a little boy who had just been traumatized and needed some type— _any!_ —of reassurance. Before talking, he nodded almost robotically and even Hank wasn't sure he'd understood his words.

"Okay."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, I swear I'll be quick (yeah, sure)
> 
> I'm sorry for hurting Hailey, I really am LMFAO
> 
> A penny for your thoughts? What do you guys think, did you like the chapter?
> 
> I wanna say a gigantic to all of you who leave those super duper kind reviews, it truly means a lot to me. THANK YOU!
> 
> As you can see by the title, this chapter was written with the help of In the air tonight by Phil Collins, which is one of my favorite songs EVER.
> 
> Quick question, though: do any of you watch The Rookie? No, bc I kinda stole an idea from them (if any of you watch it, you probably know what I'm talking about) and probably will in the future lol (Any Chenford stans here?)
> 
> Anyways, thank you for reading and putting up with my shitty (and pointless) rambling, I'll see you on the next chapter. Bye! :)
> 
> PS: let's be friends! I'm 5021ZAIN on both twitter and tumblr! :3


	4. Saint Pablo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's basically a PD x Med crossover lol  
> Hope you like it!

" **I** ncoming, Baghdad!" Maggie's voice echoed through the hospital entryway. "Hypothermic with a stab wound," she said, reading her pager.

April saw her look around to check if Dr. Choi was nearby and, "He's checking on a patient," she told the head nurse.

Maggie turned to Will who was typing on his tablet, "Halstead, I need you in Baghdad," she ordered the doctor.

Will didn't respond but acknowledged her by nodding and once he was done typing, he dropped the tablet on the desk.

The doors of the Gaffney Chicago Medical Center opened as Brett entered the hospital, pushing the heavy gurney with the help of a security guard.  
Will was too busy putting his pair of gloves on to see that Gianna was hovering over the patient and performing chest compressions.

He briefly glanced at the blonde, "Talk to me, what do we got?" he asked no one in particular.

"Female, early thirties, GCS4, hypothermic and with a stab wound on the lower abdomen. No vitals, she crashed in the ambo about two and a half minutes ago," Sylvie answered the question.

Will gasped slightly once he properly took a look at the scene in front of him and saw that the patient Gianna was doing CPR to was, "Hailey?"

"What the hell happened?" he asked again, a subtle hint of panic behind his voice.

The doors of the hospital opened once again as the members of the Intelligence Unit entered the ER.

Will immediately made eye contact with his brother, who was walking towards them at a fast pace. He remarked the panicked expression on his face and the redness of his eyes—the pallor of his face made it even more noticeable.

After seeing that Dr. Choi had joined and was helping the paramedics with the transportation of Hailey's gurney into the trauma room, "Hey," Will put his hands on his brother's chest and then slightly lifted his chin to maintain eye contact with him. Jay's gaze was following the direction of where Hailey was being moved.

Jay blinked quickly to focus and looked at him with pleading eyes. He didn't have the courage to utter a single word, though, afraid that his voice would break in the process.

"We're gonna take care of her, okay?" Will asked rhetorically, nodding his head to try to sound as convincing as possible, even though he probably knew that wasn't enough to reassure his brother.  
The last time he'd seen Jay wearing such a worried expression was when their father was admitted to the hospital, and it felt like a punch in the stomach to see him so shaken.

He didn't earn a response from Jay, expectedly so. Will patted his shoulder, giving it a light squeeze, and then quickly glanced at Voight in an unspoken request to keep an eye on his brother, though he knew Hank would've done it even without his solicitation.

As he turned around and walked towards Room 3, he briefly looked at Maggie. "Page Dr. Marcel and Dr. Latham," he told Maggie, before entering the room.

"Do any of you know what happened?" he asked, seeing that Ethan had substituted Gianna in doing chest compressions and that Hailey had been moved to an actual hospital bed.

Sylvie shook her head no, "We don't really know, there wasn't much time to ask questions," she simply said. She heard her and Gianna's radio go off and they stepped out of the room, wishing luck to the doctors and getting out to get their next call.

"Dammit," Will mumbled under his breath, biting his lips.

He and Hailey weren't exactly close, they'd drank a few beers together and they went along, but it was still devastating to see her in such a helpless state—even more, knowing how much she meant to his brother. Will couldn't imagine how Jay was feeling at the moment, but he was pretty sure it was something similar to what _he_ felt a few years ago when he and Natalie had that accident in the hospital parking lot.

"Halstead," Ethan gasped, looking at the doctor with his forehead damp in sweat.

Will immediately understood that he needed a break and took over, continuing the chest compressions.

"It's gonna take forever before she gets warm and we can restore her circulation," Ethan declared, wiping his forehead with the sleeve of his red scrub.

Will was about to respond, but he got distracted by the arrival of Dr. Latham, who was intent on wearing his gloves. "Care to fill me in, please?" he immediately said as soon as he stepped his foot into the room.

Ethan described the situation to him, handing him the chart that Sylvie had filled in, looking at the monitors, and seeing that Hailey still had no vitals. It wasn't that surprising since she was in a hypothermic state, but they needed to get her blood circulating again, or else her body was never going to reach an acceptable temperature.

In the meantime, they were also joined by Dr. Marcel, who substituted a tired Will in doing CPR.

"Okay, based on a similar case that happened in Seattle, I think we have to put her on bypass. While we do that, we see what we can do with the stab wound," Dr. Latham announced, staring at his colleagues.

He was silently asking them if they had any objections, even though they all knew he was the most qualified cardiothoracic surgeon in the whole building.

Nobody objected, trusting the doctor's judgment, and they were quick to move Hailey into the Hybrid OR—it was the closest thing to an actual operation room that didn't require them to go to another floor.

Since Ethan and Will weren't surgeons, they didn't go to the OR.

The red-haired doctor couldn't get his eyes off Hailey's still body as she was being carried through the corridor, it was the pallor of her face that really got to him.

Her usually vibrant blond hair now seemed to have lost all its vitality, it looked thinner.

Her lips were blue and slightly stained with red as if blood had come out of her mouth at some point.

And then, sure, Hailey had never been particularly tanned, her skin was very light, but what Will had been looking at… _she must've been through a lot_ , he thought.

Will quickly took a glance at the waiting room, spotting his brother leaned on the wall in the middle of the room.

Jay had his arms crossed against his chest and was staring at the ground, only he knew how many and what things were going through his head at the moment.

His brother watched him from afar, a worried expression dominating his features.

"Is she gonna be okay?" Will heard Maggie's voice, although he didn't look at her, still keeping his eyes on his brother.

He could tell by the tone of her question that she'd widened her eyes and had a concerned look on her face.

"I really, really hope so," he mumbled to his friend, briefly glancing at her and then focusing back on Jay.

Will took a deep breath and started walking towards the waiting room, ready to update the Intelligence unit on Hailey's conditions (as much as the HIPAA allowed him, of course).

What he wasn't ready for, though, was the hollowness that had overshadowed Jay's eyes. They stared at him with an intensified fear he wasn't sure he was going to be capable of bearing.

* * *

Jay had never been a very religious man. He wasn't an atheist either, he _did_ believe there was Something out there—whether It was a superior entity or a force—but he'd never found himself really thinking about it.

And it was fine, he didn't feel like a definite answer would change his life and the way he lived it.

Sure, he and Will were raised Catholic and had spent their childhood attending the Mess every Sunday, but while Will seemed to somehow have found a fitting place for him to express himself in there, Jay had always felt like some kind of outsider.

When he was younger, he used to watch Will's performances with the choir, playing his guitar while Jay just sat there, with his mind wandering elsewhere.

A thing Jay was grateful to religion for, though, were churches.  
Ever since he was a child, they always had provided him with such an immense sense of calm and peacefulness that he couldn't really describe. He just knew it made him feel overwhelmed, positively so.

And it was that exact feeling of calm and peacefulness that Jay was almost desperately seeking for when he found himself on the verge of a panic attack in the middle of the waiting room.

He had started feeling light-headed and the voices of those surrounding him seemed to have multiplied all of a sudden. Jay felt like he couldn't hear his own thoughts, overpowered by the loud volume of the other voices he was listening to.

Even breathing became a hard task to do. The simple, automatic actions of inhaling and exhaling seemed to be impossible without a bit of a struggle.

The familiarity with the symptoms had somehow given him the strength to walk out of the room and find a quieter place.

His legs had walked him around the hospital without him permitting them, they inexplicably felt detached from him and Jay was detesting the uncomfortable feeling.

They had stopped, though, once he'd gotten in front of the main entrance of the small church inside the hospital building.

That's how he was now sitting on the last bench of the empty church. His breathing was starting to even out, but his hands were still shaking.

He kept his gaze fixed in front of him, not focusing on a particular object.  
Jay couldn't help but start to rethink the events of the last twenty-four hours—because, yes, just from the nightmare he had had… He should've known.

He relived the moment in which they had realized Hailey had been kidnapped, he couldn't forget how he felt his heart drop in his stomach when Platt announced the news after getting a call from Voight.

Ever since that moment, the only thing his mind had been thinking was for a way to bring Hailey back, whatever it took.

He didn't really give himself the time to properly process what was going on and how he felt about the whole situation.

It was deeper than sadness and frustration and hopelessness, Jay _knew_.

He knew when he felt his heart skip he didn't even know how many beats when they'd finally found Hailey, and he knew when he was forced to leave her side so the paramedics would do their job.  
He knew when the doors of the ambulance closed and the thought of losing her was punching him in the stomach, laughing at him.

He felt a tear stream down his face as he replayed the sound of Hailey's feeble voice when he was holding her against his body, trying to keep her warm.

He wiped his face with the back of his hand and sniffled, realizing that more tears were starting to form in the corner of his eyes.

Jay bit his lips in an attempt to suppress an involuntary, quiet sob from escaping his mouth, but he didn't do it in time.

The sob echoed in the church as he leaned forward, his elbows on his knees, and his shaky hands covering his now red face, almost as if he felt ashamed of himself for allowing himself that moment of vulnerability.

His shoulders were slightly shaking as the tears kept coming down his face, making his vision blurry.  
Small whimpers came out of his mouth, Jay was struggling with being quiet, feeling tired of keeping his emotions to himself.

He let it all out: the anger, the frustration, the fear.

Jay had lost a lot of people in his life, death was something he had become familiar with.

But Hailey… He couldn't lose her.

Not when, ever since their first day as partners, she had always been there for him, ready to pick up the pieces of what was left of him, carefully putting them together.

Not when she had taken her time to show him that there _was_ light at the end of the tunnel he'd been stuck in for too long.

And not when he'd realized that Hailey wasn't just his best friend, that there was a reason why his heart backflipped whenever their eyes locked, or when she showed him her signature wide smile, making the dimple on her right cheek more noticeable; or when she squeezed his arm in an attempt to comfort him or give him reassurance.

That realization was slapping him hard in the face, the same face his tears were staining, his eyes shut as his throat was starting to feel sore, and his sniffling nose red.

Jay couldn't even bear the thought of her working in another state, or even just another district, let alone...

He couldn't lose Hailey. As much as he was used to the people he cared for leaving him, Jay knew that this time around, with the possibility of Hailey being one of those people, it would've been the last and final strike for him.

* * *

"Where do you think he went?" Adam asked Kim, his hands playing with his vest. "Jay," he added then, when she looked up at him, referring to the absence of the detective in the waiting room.

"Definitely somewhere quieter," Kim shifted in her seat, straightening her posture, "You know how he is. It must be really hard for him," she commented.

Adam raised his brow, a puzzled expression on his face, "What do you mean? It's hard for all of us," he protested.

Kim smiled at him and fought the urge to caress his stubbly face, Adam was so oblivious sometimes it was adorable. " _Of course_ it's hard for us too, but it's different for them," she said with confidence.

And then something clicked in his mind, a tiny smirk formed on his lips. "Do you think that they..?"

The brunette shrugged with a sigh, crossing her arms on her chest. "That they're together?" she shook her head, "No, I don't think so. Not _yet_ ," she muttered, giving Adam a knowing look.

He narrowed his eyes and tilted his head, humming quietly. The thought had never crossed his mind—maybe because it was too busy with whatever was going on between him and Kim—but it _made_ sense.

His eyes got distracted when he saw his best friend enter the waiting room with two cups in his hand. Kevin handed one to Vanessa and gently stroked her hair, his eyes soft on her.

Adam suppressed a surprise gasp as he was just now noticing how close the two were, starting to insinuate that they maybe had something going on.

He turned his head to Kim just to find that she was already staring at him with a smirk. She nodded knowingly and patted his thigh, "Yes, them too."

"I feel robbed, we're the pioneers," Adam frowned, even though he had an amused expression on his face.

"The only real trendsetters."

* * *

Will emitted a soft exhale when he finally found his brother. He'd been looking for him for about twenty minutes and he was starting to get worried.

He mentally face-palmed himself as he watched him sitting in the church, that should've been the first place he should've searched into. He knew Jay liked being in churches, they provided him a sense of calm that was unexpected from a man like him.

Will walked towards him and saw he quickly wiped his face when ìn he noticed his presence. He took a seat next to him and raised his hand, placing it on Jay's shoulder gently giving it a squeeze. He turned his head to look at his face and couldn't help but notice his red, puffy eyes, signaling Jay had been crying.

Jay cleared his throat, quickly glancing at his brother, "Any news?"

Will could hear his voice was hoarse, lower than usual. He must've been crying a lot. He decided not to mention it, though, knowing how Jay struggled to acknowledge his moments of vulnerability in front of people, no matter how close he was to them.

"Not yet." The red-haired slightly shook his head, and Jay sighed at his answer, a sigh that didn't go unnoticed by Will, who put his arm on his little brother's shoulder, wrapping him in a side hug.

"It's gonna be okay," he whispered to him, tenderly ruffling his head.

The gesture reminded Jay of when they were little and Will used to do it whenever he needed to console his baby brother, or after their mother forced them to make peace after they'd fight over something silly.

Will heard him sniffle and then, "It has to," Jay mumbled, his gaze fixed on the ground as his head rested against his brother's shoulder.

The older Halstead liked to think he knew why Jay was saying those words with such intensity but had no intention to confront him about it straightforwardly.

"You know you can talk to me, right? About anything," he said in a suggestive tone, a tiny smile forming on his lips. "Even, you know, matters of the heart…" he added then, earning a confused expression from Jay, who arched his brow as he glanced at his brother and saw he had a knowing look on his face.

His confused expression quickly was replaced by a shy smirk that Jay was trying so bad to suppress by biting his lips. His cheeks spoke for him, though.  
Jay started blushing, which made Will grin proudly. And by that grin, Jay understood that his brother knew.

"Don't," he blushed even more, rolling his eyes and huffing heavily, starting to nervously bite his bottom lip.

Maybe Will was the detective in another life, or maybe it was _that_ obvious, but Jay liked to think that he knew _only because_ they were brothers and brothers usually picked up on these types of things.

However, neither of them decided to explicitly address the topic. Will knew Jay would talk whenever _he_ liked and felt ready to, he wasn't going to answer any questions.

They stayed quiet for a few minutes, enjoying the silence the church offered them and finding comfort in each other's company.

Jay didn't need Will to tell him he was going to be there for him, he knew he would. And Will didn't need Jay to expressly tell him he accepted his offer.  
The answer lied in the moment they were having, with Jay leaned against his brother and Will ready to be his pillar.

The comfortable silence was abruptly interrupted by Will's pager going off. He checked it and his gaze lit up, "She's out of surgery," he exclaimed. "Wanna go see her?"

* * *

"You two shouldn't be here," Will commented as he entered Hailey's room and saw his brother and Vanessa sitting at each side of Hailey's bed.

He handed Jay a cup of coffee and gave a snack to Vanessa, who thanked him by showing a little tired smile, running her hand through her jet black hair.

"Says the rule-breaker," Jay mumbled before taking a sip from his cup and sighing heavily. He had been drinking so much coffee on the last day that he was sure he'd become immune to the effect of caffeine (which probably wasn't that healthy).

"Asshole," Will retorted back, rolling his eyes and checking on the monitor displaying Hailey's values.

Everything seemed to be normal, at least for the circumstances: Hailey had a fever, her temperature still wasn't ideal, although it had notably improved, and the stabbing had caused the removal of her appendix. Luckily, though, it wasn't a vital organ—to say it with Dr. Marcel's words, it was _basically useless_.

Vanessa chuckled at the short banter between the two brothers, shifting in her chair and easily bringing her legs close to her chest—perks of having a tiny frame.

"He's hella annoying," Will talked to her as if Jay wasn't in the room too, just for the sake of irritating him.

Vanessa knowingly raised her brows and nodded eagerly, "Oh, trust me, I know," she agreed.

Jay loudly cleared his throat, subtly telling them that he could hear them.

Will giggled at his brother's reaction and after checking Hailey's temperature, he turned to them: "Do you guys need anything else?" he asked.

Jay simply shook his head no, followed by Vanessa: "No, thanks Will," she sent him a grateful smile. He'd been so kind to her the whole time she was there.

"Okay, well, call me if you change your mind. Goodnight guys," he mumbled, going to his brother and giving his shoulder a light squeeze.

Before going out, he furtively looked at the two. Maybe _not_ so furtively, because he immediately caught their attention.

"What?" it was Jay who spoke.

Will slightly shook his head, a soft smile on his lips. "Nothing, it's just… Hailey is lucky to have you two," he commented, exiting the room and leaving the three of them alone.

And despite being two different people, Jay and Vanessa reached the same conclusion: _they_ were the lucky ones.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's kinda late here so I'll be quick(?)  
> SEE? I DIDN'T KILL HER... YET  
> What do you guys think? Did you enjoy it? Do you have a favorite part? Don't be shy, talk to me! :)
> 
> I have 2 fav parts: when Jay is alone at the church (bc I love whumpy!Jay) and then when Will joins him bc yk, some Halstead brothers content is good for the soul ;)
> 
> Title: Saint Pablo by Kanye West ft. Sampha (you probably can't stand the man, but this song is amazing, you should check it out!)
> 
> Let me know what you guys think, I really hope you enjoyed it.  
> Stay happy and healthy, I'll see you guys on the next chapter.  
> Fanta Enrica xx


	5. Heartbeats

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for the delay :/  
> Hope you like the chapter, let me know in the commets! :)

**_B_** _eep… Beep… Beep…_

Hailey's eyelids fluttered a bit before she gathered the strength to open them.

When she did, she closed them immediately, quietly groaning, as she was blinded by the lights of the place she was in.

Where was she?

Hailey carefully opened her eyes again, narrowing them, and checked her surroundings, trying to figure out why she was feeling warm while the last sensation her body had felt was… It hit her at that moment.

The two gunshots, the stab, the cold, and then Jay.

 _Beep, beep, beep, beep_.

"Hailey!" she widened her eyes when she heard his voice, and for a second she thought she was still asleep, maybe it was her mind playing games on her. Jay’s voice wasn’t real.

But then he touched her hand. It was light and soft and gentle and it made Hailey absolutely freak out.

_Beep-beep, beep-beep, beep-beep._

She abruptly retrieved her hand from his and tucked it under the covers. It was like for a moment her mind had shut down, convincing her that that wasn't Jay's hand. 

It was Dean's and it was ready to smack her face once again.

She felt her heart sink when she looked at him in the eyes and saw how much that gesture had hurt him, that it wasn't the response he was hoping to get from her.

But Jay didn't say anything about it, "I'll call Will," he told her quickly after clearing his throat and rushed out of the room.

Once she was left alone, Hailey noticed that she was _not_ indeed alone. 

Vanessa was in the chair at the side of her bed, snuggled up against a soft blanket, her eyes shut.  
  
She had stayed the night, for her, and Hailey appreciated it and knew Vanessa was _so_ going to regret it once she’d wake up—hospital chairs are no fun, she knew it.

Her attention got caught by the arrival of Will, his hair ruffled in different directions and his kind eyes greeting her. 

“Hailey! Glad to see you’re awake, you gave us quite a scare,” he said, shooting a tight-lipped smile her way.  
  
Hailey blushed a little, “Eh, I missed my favorite Halstead,” she retorted back with a smirk on her face. Her voice was low and hoarse, she wished it didn’t sound like she was whispering, but she knew that was the best she could aspire for at that moment.

Will’s smile widened when he heard Hailey’s comment, showing his brother his signature grin, to which Jay responded with an annoyed eye roll. The two _always_ ganged up on him whenever they were together.

The redhead was ready to ask his question when Vanessa opened her eyes, woken by their voices, sitting up straight in her chair. A relieved smile appeared on her face as soon as she looked at Hailey and saw she was finally awake.

  
“Oh, thank god,” the brunette exclaimed, quickly getting up and going to Hailey’s side, her hand lightly brushing her arm. 

Hailey stiffened as she felt her roommate’s hand on her, and Vanessa seemed to have noticed it because she immediately put her hand in the pocket of her jeans as if nothing had happened.

The subtle gesture didn’t go unnoticed by Jay, though. He briefly glanced at Vanessa just to see her drop her gaze on her feet, chewing on her bottom lip. 

  
The blonde looked at her roommate and silently apologized for her behavior, her blue eyes speaking for her. 

“So, guys, can you give us a minute?” Will asked. Hailey needed her privacy.

Jay nodded, taking a look at Hailey to make sure she was comfortable, and then turned around, exiting the room followed by Vanessa.

“She almost flinched when I touched her arm,” Vanessa told Jay as they leaned against the nurse counter, still facing Hailey’s room.  
  
Jay exhaled heavily and crossed his arms against his chest, “I know,” he mumbled, looking in front of him and seeing Hailey’s mouth opening slightly, almost as if she was gasping. 

“Do you think-?”  
  
“Let's _not think_ about anything yet, alright?” Jay’s body tensed immediately, even though he was kind of expecting a question like that. He sternly looked at Vanessa, making her feel smaller than she already was, his eyes intense. The brunette felt like he was staring at her soul.

Vanessa nodded, not daring to utter a single word.  
Her assumption was legitimate, but the only thing they needed to focus on at that moment was the fact that Hailey was awake, that’s all that mattered.

Will exited the room and slightly tilted his head at the two, telling them they were needed in the room.  
  
“Told her she needs to rest, but she wants to talk to you first,” he announced, leaving the two of them, not before patting his brother’s back and showing Vanessa a tiny smile, “I’ll see you later.”

Vanessa and Jay re-entered the room and as they were about to sit back on their chairs, “Yeah, no, go home, get some rest,” Hailey told them, stopping them in their tracks.

“But…”

“No buts, I didn’t wanna say it, but you two look awful,” she chuckled at her own words, immediately regretting doing so when she felt a sharp pain on the abdomen, “Ugh, can’t even have fun here,” she commented with an eye roll, holding her side.

“We’ll be back though,” Jay chimed in, looking straight into her eyes. If he’d seen even the slightest ounce of hesitation in them, he would’ve stayed right then and there.

“Mh, sounds like a threat,” Hailey giggled before she started to cough, groaning right after.  
  
She felt like she had caught a fever: one second she was sweating from hotness, the other she was freezing from cold. Her throat was sore and her abdomen was stinging her with every move she was making, even the tiniest. Not comparable to the state she was brought in (Will had tried to sugarcoat it to her, but she was basically dead for a few hours), but still, it was annoying.

Hailey saw that Jay and Vanessa were still standing there with a concerned look on their faces, “C’mon, go sleep, you’ll thank me later,” she dismissively waved her hand towards the door.  
That being said, she clicked on the button to maneuver the bed she was on, so her back would get aligned with the rest of her body.  
  
She turned on her side, the one she didn’t have a 3 inches incision on, and pulled the covers until her neck wasn’t exposed anymore.  
  
Jay would’ve gladly tucked her into bed, making sure she was safe and warm, but then he remembered how she reacted when he had approached her earlier, the panic in her eyes. It was better to not try that again. 

After saying goodbye to Hailey, Vanessa took her coat and walked out of the room, waiting for Jay to follow her. When she didn’t hear his footsteps behind her, she turned around and wasn’t surprised to see him staring at Hailey’s room through the glassdoor.  
  
He looked conflicted like he was still debating whether he should’ve gone home or not.

Jay slightly shook his head and sighed, deciding to just leave. Maybe Hailey didn’t want to be around people, maybe she needed to just be alone.

Once she'd made sure that Jay wasn’t there anymore, Hailey turned to rest on her back and checked under her blanket. Her eyes immediately got watery as she stared at the bandage around her waist and the purple-ish bruises all over her pearly skin.  
  
It was like it hit her at _that_ exact moment that she had risked her life, she felt overwhelmed, like a tidal wave.

But Hailey was not dead. She was sore, comprehensively so, but all things considered, she got extremely lucky. She was alive.

It would take her some time to let that thought sink in, though, Hailey knew.

* * *

She smiled wide when she heard Adam’s loud voice—the guy really struggled at keeping his voice low.  
Hailey smiled even more when she spotted Kim's familiar brown hair from the large window that gave access to the room and the hallway.  
  
A grin appeared on her lips, matching the one Adam was wearing as he stepped his foot into the room. 

“How’s our Hailey holding up? Too cool for us, uh?” he said, cackling at his own awful joke, walking and stopping at the end of the bed--Vanessa had warned them to not get too close to Hailey.

“Adam!” exclaimed Kim, who was standing next to him, slapping his arm and shaking her head at his antics, mouthing a quiet _sorry_ to Hailey.

The reaction they got out of the blonde was unexpected, though, because Hailey started to laugh out loud, regretting it right after when she felt that now familiar sharp pain on her abdomen, which caused her to release a groan in annoyance.

“Too soon?” Adam asked, even though he was still smirking, biting his bottom lip.

But Hailey shook her head no, “Nah, I actually needed that,” she sighed contentedly.  
She didn’t mind the apprehensive look with which Jay, Vanessa, Will, and even the nurses looked at her, she appreciated the concern, but it’d been a long time since she’d last laughed a real, genuine laugh—and it felt good, it was needed.

“Bad jokes aside," Kim shot Adam a glare, "It’s good to see you’re okay,” Kim commented, ignoring her partner's attempt at feigning an innocent expression.

“Yeah, the quicker your recovery is, the shorter we’ll have to work with Jay without you being there… I swear to you, Hailey, he acted like someone pissed in his coffee,” Adam sighed dramatically, widening his eyes and shaking his head vehemently. 

Hailey laughed again, “Please, stop making me laugh,” she giggled, her hand brushing her abdomen in soothing movements. “And leave Jay alone,” she playfully scolded him, blushing a bit—the contrast with her pale skin was very visible.

When she heard the name of the detective coming from Hailey’s mouth, Kim carefully studied the blonde's expression and wasn’t at all surprised to notice that her blue eyes seemed to have lightened up.  
She decided to not say anything about it, though—at least not before a quick consultation with Vanessa.

And speaking of Vanessa… the brunette had stepped into the room, leaning against the doorframe, and greeted Adam and Kim with one of her wide smiles.

“Vanessa, I meant proper sleep, not a two hours nap!” Hailey scolded her, shaking her head. "Go home!"

“I’m well-rested,” Vanessa dismissively waved her hand. “Plus, Kev is here, asks if he can come in and say hi,” she told her, making both Adam and Kim turn around just to see that their friend was waiting for permission to go inside.

"Of course, you don't even have to ask!" she waved her hand, motioning for Kevin to come in.

He followed Vanessa and greeted his two best friends, who had slightly stepped aside to make some room.

"Hi Kev," Hailey smiled widely at him. She liked him, he had this positive aura around him that always put her in a good mood.

"How you doin', Upton?"

Hailey grimaced. "Eh, it's kinda boring here, and the food is yucky, but I'm okay," she answered with a shrug. 

Kevin nodded her way, looking at her with admiration. He was one to always look at the bright side of things, but the state she was found in… It had made it hard for him to stay positive.

"What's the prognosis?"

"How do you even know what that means?" Adam chimed in, furrowing his brows as he looked at his best friend.

"Ha. He thinks he's funny," Kevin scoffed but didn't avert his gaze from Hailey, who was enjoying their banter.

She sighed heavily before responding. "I no longer have an appendix, but it's not like I can't live without it, so…"—she shrugged—"And I'm stuck here till my temperature stops playing games," she added then, taking in her friends' reactions.

Their features had shifted from amused to angry, they didn't have to say much because what they were thinking was written all over their faces: how unfair was it for Hailey to be in that situation.

"But, hey, I got lucky after all," she tried to lighten up the mood, figuring that there was no point in looking at the empty part of the glass. "You found me just in time, so thank you guys," Hailey's voice was still just above a whisper, but her words had arrived loud and clear to her friends' ears.

Kevin shook his head, "Upton, we're family. You don't have to thank us."

His comment made Hailey blush. And think.

The concept of family hadn't always been very clear to her. Family implied love, comfort, safety, support… She had never felt those things while staying with her own family.

To Hailey, it was deeper than that. Blood relations didn't matter to her, it was all about the feelings.

And if she looked at Adam, Kim, Kevin, and Vanessa she felt the support they were showing her, how safe they were keeping her as they stood there, embracing her with no contact. They were trying to make sure she was comfortable, that she could feel every little bit of their love. 

And she did.

Kevin was right: they _were_ family.

Someone was missing, though.

As if their minds were wired, Jay appeared from behind the group of friends Hailey was so dearly thinking of. It almost scared her how he'd showed up at the exact moment that she had started to miss him.

Vanessa noticed her friend's gaze was no longer directed at her or those standing next to her, so she turned around and _Of course!_ , she thought when she saw Jay in the corridor with his hands in the pocket of his jeans.

Hailey blushed heavily as the brunette looked at her with a smirk, suppressing the urge of rolling her eyes.

"Quick stop at the cafeteria?" Vanessa asked no one in particular, quickly looking for an excuse to leave.

"Yes, please, I'm starving," Adam gladly accepted the proposition.

They quickly said goodbye to Hailey and exited the room, finding Jay at the door and only now understanding why Vanessa had asked that question.

Once they were gone, Jay finally entered the room, an uncertain look on his face, the same face Hailey was staring at with suspicious eyes.

"You didn't sleep, did you?"

Jay chuckled nervously, "Busted," he muttered with a shrug, slowly walking to the chair he had spent the night on. "It's cool. I took a shower, it relaxed me a bit," he said, taking a seat.

"What about you? How're you feeling?" he asked her.

"Pain meds are doing their job, I guess," she replied, slightly tilting her head.

Hailey looked at Jay, at the way he was staring at her. It made her chuckle a bit.

"What?"

Hailey quickly shook her head. "I was just thinking… How the tables have turned, uh?" Jay quizzically glanced at her. 

"You're here at the hospital for me. Vanessa would call us best friends goals: we both got kidnapped, you got shot, I got stabbed… that's a bond," she elaborated.

Jay knew she was being sarcastic, maybe it was her way of coping with all that happened, but that didn't make her words hurt less.

He dropped his gaze, staring at his shoes, "Yeah, no, it's not funny, Hailey…" Jay briefly looked at her just to focus back on the floor. "Seeing you here, it's not easy."

"I know. Trust me," her tone was no longer amused, Jay could see the serious expression on her face.

And he immediately understood what she wasn't saying out loud. _I know what you mean, I've been in your shoes when you got shot._

"Well, it sucks, and I'm sorry I put you through that," his voice was low, guilty, full of sadness.

"Eh. I'm pretty sure we're even now," the smirk was back on Hailey's face as he was trying to cheer him up.

And Jay looked at her, almost astonished, marveled with the way she was trying to lighten the mood at all costs. She was such a gem.

Her skin was so pale it made the dark bruise on her cheekbone even more noticeable, and her bottom lip was swollen. She looked so different than how she did when he’d last seen her, which was before she’d left work to go to Molly’s with Kim and Vanessa.  
  
She had the same eyes, though, Jay recognized them. It just took him to quickly look into her kind, blue eyes to see that she was still _his_ Hailey. 

"Hailey, I-" he started before he realized his mouth had opened. He swallowed hard, now noticing how fast his heart was beating in his chest. 

He released a heavy sigh as he let fear take the best of him. _Now’s not the time_ , he thought.

Hailey was staring back at him, their eyes locked in a way that made a shiver run down her spine. She would've never gotten used to the way his eyes made her feel safe. Being able to look at them again, it felt like coming back home after being lost for too long.

"I'm glad you're okay," Jay muttered after taking a deep, shaky breath, giving her a tight-lipped smile.

_(Now’s not the time.)_

"I'm glad, too."

* * *

“Okay, Will. Let’s discuss some important stuff… When can I go home?” Hailey asked the doctor as he was entering the room. She narrowed her eyes, implying that she no longer had the patience to stay there. 

“Wanna get rid of me already? Thought you said you missed me,” Will countered back, walking towards her bed and taking his stethoscope from around his neck.

Hailey held her breath as he started approaching her, she didn’t even know why. Why even just the idea of someone getting physically close to her was freaking her out? She couldn’t find a rational explanation.  
  
And it seemed like Will had noticed it too, not only in that moment but even earlier, when he’d checked on her.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, acknowledging her discomfort, checking her heart and lungs with the stethoscope.  
  
Hailey nodded at him, feeling that her eyes were getting watery. She moved her gown so he would take a look at her abdomen and shut her eyes close as she felt his fingers on her skin.

“And I’m done,” Will exclaimed, quickly scooting away from Hailey so she would feel more at ease. “So, your temperature has surprisingly improved, I’m trying to see if it can get a little bit higher, but considering it’s only 1 PM, maybe there’s a chance you can go home tonight,” he saw a tiny smile form on her lips, her eyes looking at him with hope.

Will pointed his index at her, “It’s not a promise, though,” he warned her. “We’ll see,” he added with a wink, before saying bye to her and exiting the room.

Before she could even take her time to start enjoying some alone time, she heard a light knock on the glassdoor. Hailey lifted her gaze and recognized Dr. Charles, “Can I..?” he asked.

The blonde nodded, adjusting herself on the bed, hopelessly trying to get in a comfortable position. Truth was, the only comfortable position would’ve been being _out_ of that damned bed.

“How are you doing, detective?” he asked, wearing his glasses.

Hailey sighed, “I wish people would stop asking me that question,” she mumbled, rolling her eyes. And then, “I’m sorry, I’m just… I wanna go home,” she added then, excusing herself for the tone she’d used.

Dr. Charles shook his head, telling her to relax. “I heard what happened to you and I’m very sorry. It’s good to see you've made it out just fine, pretty much," he said, Hailey could hear the sincerity in his voice.

“I stopped by to tell you that if you need someone to help you process what happened, or, you know, talk about anything you want. I’m h-”  
  
He didn’t even get to finish the sentence that Hailey immediately got defensive: “Dr. Charles, I’m fine. It’s not the first time I’ve been beaten. But thanks for your concern,” she muttered, trying to sound as polite as possible, even though she could tell her tone probably sounded harsh or annoyed.

Dr. Charles stared at her with an intense look, quickly studying her.

"Okay," he mentally raised his white flag (for now), nodding at Hailey’s words. He reached for the pocket of his white coat and extracted his visit card from it, handing it to the detective.

“In case you change your mind,” he declared with a smile, turning around and exiting the room.

Hailey looked at the tiny piece of paper in her hand, reading its content over and over again. She clenched her jaw, starting to grit her teeth, and then placed the visit card onto the overbed table.

What was there to process? She was stabbed, she knew it was a big deal, but she got lucky and she was alive. The beating… that was nothing new, she'd seen darker bruises on her skin since she was much younger. She needed a lot more to be impressed.

And about the hypothermia, Will told her that her body shut down to protect her major organs.

She had it all figured out, and she honestly didn't like how Dr. Charles insinuated things like she was a little girl who needed her hand to be held.

 _Being stuck in this damned bed, that's what I need to process_ , she thought, a slight, frustrated grunt escaping her throat.

* * *

“That stick looks kinda cool, very Gregory House-y,” Vanessa commented when Hailey managed to get up from the table, ready to go to her room.

They were finally at home. The blonde had convinced Dr. Halstead to get her discharged, promising she wasn’t going to be alone. Vanessa was there, of course, and Jay had insisted on being with them for a few hours. More for his own sake and peace of mind.

Vanessa got on her feet as well, ready to put the dishes in the dishwasher, but Jay stopped her, “I got this,” he sent her a tight-lipped smile. Things weren’t exactly fine between the two, even though the brunette wasn’t holding any grudges against him.  
  
Yes, he had snapped at her a few times, but she understood the reason why, thinking she probably would’ve reacted the same way if she were in his shoes.

From his part, Jay felt like he owed her an apology but wasn’t ready to give it to her yet. His pride was to blame.

Vanessa had cooked dinner for all of them: she made some chicken broth for Hailey (“ _to keep you warm”)_ and some pasta with tomato sauce for Jay and herself. She was quite the chef, the talent coming from all the time she’d spent alone taking care of herself ever since she was a kid.

She nodded at Jay, following Hailey who was limping down the corridor with the little help of a walking stick, the one that Will had recommended to her. 

The two women entered Hailey’s room and an intense smell of chlorine hit their nostrils. Vanessa had tried her best to get rid of the bloodstains on the floor, while for the ones on the wall she’d come up with a temporary solution: she had hung an abstract painting to hide the sides.

Hailey smiled when she noticed it, happy that Vanessa had had that consideration.

“It looks cool,” she acknowledged, “Thanks.”

The brunette shot a wide grin to Hailey, getting closer to her when it was time for her to sit on the bed. She had already changed in some baggy clothes (it took her a while, but she’d managed to do it alone), so they would give her body some room to breathe without them being in the way.

Hailey hissed when she sat on the bed, the hiss actually became a groan of pain when she had to slightly bend over to get under the bedsheets.  
  
Vanessa went in to help her, but the blonde shook her head, “I’m fine, I’m fine,” she muttered, releasing a heavy sigh once she was set. 

Hailey turned towards her bedside and took a pill of Advil along with some water, finishing it within a few gulps. 

“Need anything else?” Vanessa asked, tying her hair in a ponytail so it wouldn’t interfere.

Hailey shook her head, resting her back against the header. “You’re free to go. And thanks, for everything,” she said sincerely. Vanessa had been there for her, even though she didn’t _have to_ , and Hailey appreciated it. A lot.  
  
“We’re family,” Vanessa repeated Kevin’s word from earlier, smiling sweetly at her roommate. She didn’t mind helping her: it wasn’t a burden, it came from her heart.

Hailey nodded at her and then, “Shoot, can you send in Jay? I need to talk to him,” of course Vanessa’s smirk crept its way onto her lips, happy to finally be back.

“Remember Will said you can’t do any intense physical activities, yeah?” the brunette asked rhetorically and made Hailey roll her eyes so hard it almost hurt.

“Get out!” Hailey exclaimed, fighting the urge to throw a pillow at her.  
  
Vanessa exited the room with a chuckle, walking fast.

Jay came in just a few moments later, leaning on the door frame with his arms crossed, ready for Hailey’s directives.

“I was told we need to talk..?” he mumbled, uncertainty in his tone.

Hailey nodded and waved her hand, motioning for him to come in and sit on the bed. 

Jay approached her, going to the other side of the bed, making sure there was enough space between them so she wouldn’t feel uncomfortable.

There was a moment of silence, it looked like Hailey was taking her time to gather her thoughts and make some sense out of them before starting to speak. 

“I’m sorry for what happened and, you know, for what I put you through,” she mumbled then, her voice still low, only just above a whisper. Her fingers were playing with her pillow, her eyes didn’t dare to look at his face.

Jay stared at her with a shocked expression on his face, “What?!”

  
“I can’t really scream, you know? I said I’m-,” but Jay interrupted her before she could finish.

“No no, I heard you, it’s just… you don’t have to apologize, it’s not your fault..?” he exclaimed, a deep frown on his face.

  
Hailey sighed at his words, somehow believing otherwise: “I think it is… this was revenge, against me,” she elaborated, finally looking at his face and seeing him vehemently shake his head.

  
“Hailey, stop…” Jay started to nervously scratch his head, huffing heavily because, how the hell could she think any of that was her fault?!

The blonde gave up, agreeing to disagree, “Anyways, I’m sorry for worrying you,” she whispered, lowering her gaze once again and biting her bottom lip, a thing she immediately regretted doing, only now remembering that it was swollen. 

Jay chuckled at that, shaking his head again. He looked into her eyes and smiled a little, “Yeah, I’ll always worry about you… it’s part of the thing, you know?” he told her, his heart beating fast in his chest. He needed to start telling her more often how much she meant to him because apparently, it wasn’t that obvious, at least not to her.  
  
Hailey blushed at his statement, adjusting the blankets around her body and finally lying down, still facing him and careful to not lean on her injured side.

“You good? All set?”

She nodded quickly, but then, “Can you stay? Until I fall asleep?” she asked, hiding her smile under the blankets, even though her face had visibly become red. She would blame the sudden boost of bravery on the pill she had taken, yes.

Jay smiled a sweet smile, the one that made his face tilt slightly and his eyelids shut a little slower than normal. “Of course,” he whispered, resting his back against the header.

There still was a security distance between them, but they felt closer than ever. It was just the way they looked at each other… they didn’t need words to find comfort in each other. One look was all they needed.

He then took a deep breath. The question that had bugged him the whole day seemed to be ready to come out of his mouth: “Hailey,” he caught her attention.  
  
Jay saw her lift her gaze and he had the impression that she’d been looking at his lips, but maybe he had started to see things that were not there and just needed some good sleep.  
  
“Hm?”

He took another deep breath, “Did they..?” he didn’t even have the courage to go on, hoping she would get what he was implying by just looking at him. 

And she did. Hailey shook her head, her eyes never leaving his. “No,” she declared then. Jay released a sigh of relief, Hailey smiled at his reaction, deciding to take a big step.

She extended her arm out towards him, wiggling her fingers to hide the shakiness of her hand. He looked at it and then back at her face, silently asking her if she was sure.

Hailey nodded almost imperceptibly, holding her breath when she felt Jay’s hand wrap around hers.

She couldn’t really describe the sense of warmth that it gave her, it for sure brought a smile to her lips, a smile that Jay matched with one of his own.  
  
Hailey’s hand was shaky and so tiny compared to his, which was much larger. Jay brushed against her pale skin with his thumb, making circling motions that could hopefully soothe her and bring her comfort.

They weren’t used to showing affection physically, the farthest they had gone was placing a squeeze on the shoulder of the other and that was it.  
What was happening now… It was simple, new, but it felt good. 

Hailey had expected it to be awkward maybe, it wasn’t exactly _their thing_. She was surprised, positively. 

_We need to do this more often_ , she thought as her eyes were starting to feel heavier, it was getting harder to keep them open.

And Jay stayed there, keeping his promise to stay there until she’d fall asleep. He stayed there, admiring her for god knows how long, a million thoughts in his head. His heart felt like it wanted to explode.

_Thump, thump, thump…_

Her hand in his, him in her bed… They fit well. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG, THEY HELD HANDS!!! AHAHAH Our Goldilocks is finally home! Thank god, I hate hospitals, even in fiction which doesn't make sense bc I watch a lot of medical dramas.......  
> The medical stuff is probably suuuuuuuuper inaccurate, but who cares, it's fiction! LOL
> 
> So. How was it? What was your favorite part? Don't be shy, let me knoooow!  
> I don't have much to say today, that's strange ahaha Yeah, no, thank you for all your kind comments, for the kudos, for quietly reading, it truly means a lot to me! I love you folks! <3
> 
> That's all. I'll see you idk when, hopefully soon LOL  
> Be safe. Bye,  
> Fanta Enrica.
> 
> PS: I'm @5021ZAIN on both Twitter and Tumblr, let's be friends! :)


	6. Dark times

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm alive and I didn't forget about Wolves!  
> Sorry for making you wait so many days...  
> but the chapter is finally here..?!  
> I hope you like it :)

**J** ay opened his eyes all of a sudden when he sensed a body tossing and turning right next to his. He easily got adjusted to the darkness of the room and as he turned his face to see what was going on, he saw that Hailey was struggling to stay still — she was clearly having a nightmare.

He lifted his body, resting his back against the headboard, "Hailey!" he called out her name.

The blonde was panting, it seemed like she was struggling to breathe, and Jay's concern grew: he started to think that maybe it was something more serious than just a nightmare.

He reached for her arm, shaking her to wake her up, still saying her name.

"Hailey!" she opened her eyes only when she heard her name being called for the third time.

Her vision was blurry, she could feel her eyes being filled with tears.

She looked scared as if she hadn't processed yet that she was in her house, in her bed.

Hailey slightly jerked when she realized that Jay was holding her arms to keep her still.

She wore a lost look on her face, she was confused.

"Where's Garrett?" she slurred in a raspy tone, wincing a bit. Her throat hurt and felt dry.

Jay furrowed his brows. He knew that name was familiar to him, but he couldn't quite comprehend where he'd heard it.

And then he remembered. Garrett was Hailey's former boyfriend, the one that stood up for her, stopping Booth from going too far, the one that had disappeared in the wind.

Why was she looking for him? Did he have to do anything with what had happened to her?

He glanced at her with a concerned expression on his face, shaking his head at her. "Hailey, you… You were having a nightmare," Jay explained to her, biting his bottom lip, anticipating her reaction.

The room was dark, but the light from the streetlamps coming through the window was enough for Hailey to look into Jay's eyes, to see and recognize the features of his face.

Her heart started pounding fast in her chest at the realization of where she was and who she was with. Garrett wasn't there.

She noticed Jay's expression had shifted to an even more concerned one, if possible, and she felt his thumb brush down her face. It was at that moment that she understood she was crying and that he was wiping her tears away. His touch was soft, light as a feather.

The blonde emitted a sob before she was able to suppress it. It was the first of a long series as she didn't seem to be capable of stopping.

Hailey cried all the tears she had been restraining for all those years, and it was a mixture of emotions: guilt, pain, fear… She was feeling them all at once and they were crushing her.

And Jay was there for her. "It's okay," he mumbled, pulling her closer to him, wrapping his arms around her shoulders, and brushing his hand through her hair.

It was hard for him to see her in that state: Hailey was strong, she rarely showed her vulnerable side, especially to other people.

But now she felt so delicate and fragile in his arms, she just needed an anchor to hold on to. Jay was ready to be that for her.

It took some time for Hailey's sobs to subside, she had a lot to let out, and she managed to calm down only after a while. Jay heard her take a deep breath and took a glimpse at her, his hand casually giving her upper arm some squeezes.

"He killed him," she whispered, her voice was muffled. Hailey sniffled and then, "He killed Garrett," she specified.

Jay didn't need her to say his name out loud. He knew who she was referring to, and he was sure that pronouncing his name would've only upset Hailey more.

He clenched his jaw and slightly pulled away from Hailey, to face her properly.

She looked exhausted, the tears were still staining her face as she casually sniffled.

He hated that the only reason why she was in that state was Booth, he'd plotted everything from the beginning.

"He's gonna pay for it. Everything." He said, locking his eyes with hers. "I promise," he added then, earning a slight nod from the blonde.

She knew he meant what he'd said, he seemed to be very determined.

Hailey got back to leaning her head against his shoulder, sighing heavily. "You're, like, super warm," she stated, deeply inhaling and wrapping her arm around his.

Jay looked down at her, showing her a tiny tight-lipped smile, matched by one of Hailey's.

His skin felt like a furnace against her colder one, and normally she wouldn't have been cuddling so shamelessly with him, but she used her clearly vulnerable state as an excuse. She had to admit, though, that the thought of _that_ being a new part of _their thing_ had crossed her mind and it didn't look bad… at all.

Being in Jay's arms felt really good. They needed to try and do it more often.

  
  


* * *

  
  


It was almost sunrise when Hailey felt Jay gently tap his fingers on her arm, trying to get her attention.

They hadn't fallen asleep again after Jay had woken up Hailey from her nightmare, neither of them. They had been spending those hours talking, yes, but mostly in silence.

It wasn't an awkward silence, though. Hailey was happy they were so comfortable with each other that they didn't necessarily need to be constantly talking in order to enjoy the other's company.

"How about we check your temperature?" Jay asked her rhetorically, his arm still around the blonde's shoulder.

Hailey nodded slowly, pulling away from him, letting him get out of the bed. She watched him stretch his arms and immediately smirked when she saw that his shirt had lifted, exposing the lower part of his toned abdomen. _Now_ she was awake.

Jay got out of the bedroom and walked through the corridor, noticing that Vanessa was headed to the bathroom as well.

"Already up?" he asked, highlighting the fact that, just like Hailey, the brunette wasn't usually an early bird.

Vanessa shrugged, her features enhancing her sleepy face. "Never went to sleep, actually," she said, watching him send her a questioning look, "I kept thinking someone would break in," she explained, sighing defeatedly.

Jay comprehensively nodded at her, biting his bottom lip.

Hailey's kidnap had affected everyone close to her, and Vanessa was not exempt.

"Well, we were having a sleepover in there," he pointed at Hailey's bedroom, the brunette raised her brow at him. "She was having a nightmare," he elaborated.

Vanessa sighed and nodded at him, "How is she now?" she asked, crossing her arms on her chest.

Jay tilted his head and shrugged. He couldn't give her a proper answer, he didn't know it himself.

"I need to take the thermometer," he told her, entering the bathroom and leaving the door open.

She watched him crouch down and search into the cabinets. Vanessa slightly smiled as she thought of how comfortably he was used to moving around the house, it wasn't uncharted territory for him.

Jay finally found what he was looking for and exited the bathroom, "She's awake if you wanna say hi…" he trailed off, playfully winking at her.

Before walking back to Hailey's bedroom, he decided to head to the kitchen first, to start the coffee pot and the tea kettle — he remembered Will had told him it would've been better for Hailey to not drink coffee for a few days.

He then went back to Hailey's room and found she was not alone. Sitting on the edge of the bed, right next to her, was Vanessa, the two were giggling about something they clearly didn't want Jay to know because they immediately stopped as soon as they noticed his presence.

The room wasn't dark anymore, Vanessa must have opened the curtains, allowing the light of the sun to enlighten the room. It seemed like they had a sunny day ahead of them.

"I can leave you two alone if you want," he mumbled, acknowledging their sudden quietness.

"Nah, we can make fun of you _in front of you_ ," the blonde teased him, smirking at his annoyed expression.

Jay approached the two and halted in front of Hailey, signaling to her to open her mouth. Hailey obliged and felt the cold metal of the thermometer hit her tongue.

He also pressed his palm against her forehead as if doing it could give him a general idea of the state her body was in.

And Vanessa was sitting there, looking at the two with a mischievous grin that Hailey had noticed, because she stared at her with narrowed eyes, silently threatening her to not say whatever was going through her mind.

The brunette then decided to leave them alone, encouraged by the fact that she heard the teakettle go off, its sound resonating through the whole apartment.

Three minutes passed and the thermometer started beeping just right when Jay was checking his phone: Hailey guessed that he was probably reading a text, and she suddenly was curious to know its content because she'd noticed his reaction to it.

Jay's skin was so light it wasn't hard to see whenever he blushed, just like in that moment.

"Will says hi," he told her as he walked towards her and checked the thermometer she'd handed him, "99.5, good," he whispered.

"My favorite Halstead! How's he doing?" she exclaimed in a too excited tone.

Jay glared at her, "Currently going to sleep," he replied.

Vanessa interrupted them andleaned on the doorframe, "You want breakfast in bed?"

Hailey shook her head, "This bed and I are becoming one thing, I need to get outta here," she sighed.

She hissed as she turned her body, her feet now touching the cold surface of the floor.

Jay immediately bent over, reaching for her arms, and helped her get up.

Hailey gratefully smiled at him, accepting the help and slowly getting up from her bed. Her body ached but it wasn't unbearable, it was just a dull pain she'd eventually get used to.

"You good?" Jay shot an uncertain smile her way, asking her if she was steady enough to stand on her own.

Hailey nodded and blushed when she noticed that her gaze was focused on the thousands of freckles Jay had on his face. They were cute and she wished she had the time to count them all one by one, even those on his lips… Why was she looking at his lips?

Both she and Jay turned their heads towards Vanessa when they heard her clear her throat — clearly on purpose — interrupting their moment.

The red color on Hailey's cheeks intensified at the realization that even Jay was staring at her, his green eyes looked so bright from such a short distance.

"C'mon, Dr. House," Vanessa handed her the stick that they had leaned against the wall, raising her brows at Hailey, who could easily read the _what was that?_ look that she was sending her.

Jay moved slightly and Hailey mockingly scrunched up her nose at Vanessa, taking her stick.

They exited the room and before going to the kitchen, "I'll be there," she said, motioning for the bathroom door with a gesture of her head.

Vanessa asked if she needed her help, but Hailey shook her head, telling her she would do just fine. She then nodded at her, following Jay, who had already gone into the kitchen.

The brunette found him there, opening the cupboard and taking three mugs out of it. He moved in the kitchen with ease as if he was in his own home.

It didn't particularly surprise her, though, Jay had spent some time at their house — when he and Hailey drank after work and he was too gone to drive, so he ended up sleeping on their couch.

Jay poured some coffee in two mugs and then some water in Hailey's — yes, she had _her_ mug and would get very mad if somebody else used it instead of her.

Vanessa watched him as he searched for some honey, taking a spoonful of it and putting it in the tea for Hailey. She smiled at his gesture, it was so thoughtful of him: "You're taking really good care of her," she stated, walking towards the kitchen counter, leaning on it.

He blushed immediately at her words, shrugging them off with a gesture of his shoulders. Jay showed her a tight-lipped smile, "I had a lot of time to practice, I guess…" he muttered, not looking at her.

Vanessa took the cup he'd handed her and thanked him with a smile. She saw he had a conflicted look on his face as if he wanted to say something, but wasn't sure if it was the right idea.

"Hey, I'm sorry," Jay began, finally placing his eyes on her. He leaned right next to the sink, his arms were crossed on his chest. "For the way I acted these past few days, it's just…" he sighed heavily, shaking his head. "It's Hailey, you know?" he concluded, shrugging again and hoping Vanessa would get what he meant.

And Vanessa _absolutely_ got it, even more than him maybe.

She wasn't holding any grudges against him and, jokes aside, she could've only imagined how he must've felt the whole time. She herself had been worried for Hailey, she was her best friend and the closest thing to family she had, but she knew what she and Jay had was deeper… The way he reacted was legitimate after all.

She appreciated his apology, though.

"Oh, I know, trust me!" she exclaimed wittily at him and couldn't really hide the smirk that had formed on her lips.

Jay raised his brow at her, an amused smile on his face. It wasn't the first time Vanessa had made a remark like that to him, but she'd never explicitly said what she meant with her allusions. Of course, he had an idea of what she was _not_ saying — he didn't become a detective by chance — he wanted to test her.

He was ready to ask her to be clearer but chose to bite his tongue as soon as he spotted Hailey walking in.

Jay narrowed his eyes at Vanessa, silently defying her, and earning an evil grin in response.

"Mmh, I love this smell," Hailey moaned, sharply inhaling the aroma of freshly made coffee.

She sat on a chair and tiredly scratched her eyes. She felt exhausted.

As if that wasn't enough, "No coffee for you," Jay declared, placing a mug full of hot tea in front of her — chamomile, the other teas were a no-go for her, he knew.

Hailey gasped dramatically, "You're kidding me, right?" she asked, a pissed look on her face.

Jay shook his head. "Will's instructions," he stated.

"And you follow your brother's advice since when..?!" she reached for the sugar container, noticing that Jay was ready to scold her, his green eyes already judging her.

"I already put honey in there, Hails…" she tried not to blush at the nickname, failing miserably, but decided to ignore the sudden rush of warmth she could feel on her cheeks.

"Not a word. You took coffee away from me, you traitor," she pouted, taking four whole spoonfuls of sugar to put in her tea and glaring at Jay while doing so.

Vanessa, who was sitting right in front of Jay and next to Hailey, was quietly observing the two, a tiny smile on her lips.

She enjoyed teasing them about the status of their relationship — friendship, partnership, whatever they insisted on defining themselves — but she genuinely thought they made a good pair.

Hailey and Jay just clicked: Jay, who was usually very broody and reserved, showed his carefree side whenever he was around Hailey, while the blonde didn't raise her defenses when she interacted with Jay.

 _They're good for each other_ , Vanessa thought as she sipped her hot coffee.

  
  


* * *

  
  


Sgt. Voight wasn't surprised to spot Jay's truck when he parked his own vehicle in front of Hailey's apartment complex.

He walked in and the concierge at the entrance recognized him from when they'd found out that Hailey had been kidnapped.

Shortly after, Hank found himself being in front of the detective's apartment door.

He rang the bell and in just a few seconds the door was opened by Vanessa. "Good morning, Sarge!" she greeted him with a nervous smile.

She had been working in the unit for a year now, but the brunette still didn't know if her boss liked or was pretending to just because Hailey was vouching for her.

Vanessa stepped aside, silently inviting him to come in.

They quickly walked through the corridor and Hank could already hear the giggles of his two detectives, giggles that immediately subsided when Hailey and Jay noticed his presence in the living room.

"Sarge," Jay nodded at him, acknowledging his presence. His cheeks had gotten slightly red, he felt like his boss had caught him red-handed or just knew a little too much about his private life.

He had nothing to hide, though, right? He was at his partner's house, checking on his partner after she'd gone through a traumatic experience. He must've done the same with Alvin and Antonio a lot of times, there was nothing more and nothing less.

Except, there _was_ something more, though Jay decided to ignore it, at least momentarily.

"Hey, boss!" Hailey showed him a bright smile and tried to get up, but Hank stopped her with a gesture of his hand and walked towards her instead.

"How's it going, kiddo?" he asked, placing his hand and her shoulder and lightly squeezing her shoulder.

Hailey shrugged. "I'm caffeine-deprived," she pouted like a child.

Hank chuckled at that — Vanessa wished she'd recorded it because... Henry Voight chuckling? That was new.

"That must be awful for you," he commented.

His expression got more serious pretty quickly, though. "We should talk, Upton," he stated, implying that they needed to be alone, just the two of them.

"You can talk, Sarge," she said, nodding at him as if she was telling him that she didn't mind the presence of Vanessa and Jay. She had nothing to hide from them.

Voight tilted his head at her and hummed, but then started to tell her what was going on: he was determined to build a case against Booth, because, yes, Hailey had been found, but they couldn't let this one go.

"I'd understand if you didn't want to do it, but your testimony can be crucial. He's facing ten right now and you know how the system works… he'll probably be out in five," he rolled his eyes.

Hailey nervously bit her bottom lip after she sighed heavily: "I'll do it," she declared, a serious look on her face.

She ignored her partner's glare and loud scoff, continuing to stare at their sergeant. "Yeah, I think I can," she explained.

Voight nodded at her, sighing. "I'll keep you updated," he said.

"Thanks," Hailey replied, running her hand through her hair, she could feel her temple was starting to painfully pound, signaling the incoming of a headache.

"Bye, Upton. You take care of her, Rojas," Hank showed them a tiny smile and then turned to walk towards the main door, followed by Jay who had a pissed off expression on his face.

Hailey rolled her eyes at his behavior, she knew Jay wanted to discuss her decision with Voight.

And she wasn't wrong. Jay kept the door open and, "You think this is the right thing? Do you have any idea of what you're going to put her through?" he asked angrily, his brows furrowed and his jaw clenched.

Voight provocatively bore into his eyes. "She already made up her mind, Jay. I didn't force her."

"But-"

"You and I, here, talking… It's not gonna change things," he asserted.

"We could take care of it. In our own way," Jay countered, frustratedly scratching the back of his head.

Hank scoffed. "Yes, so Internal Affairs can dig into it and blame Upton for it," he muttered sarcastically, "You're smarter than this."

"She agreed on it and we're going to — his phone started to ring and he checked on it — We're doing it the right way. I gotta go now," he patted Jay's shoulders and turned around, quickly walking towards the stairs and disappearing from Jay's sight.

Jay was gritting his teeth, annoyed by the situation.

He didn't want Hailey to testify, it would've required her to relive her kidnap and what she had gone through, but Voight was also right. Dealing with Booth by themselves would've put Hailey in jeopardy work-wise, and that was the last thing she needed. She already had a lot on her plate.

He huffed heavily and then got back in the house, quickly joining Vanessa and Hailey, who were sitting in the kitchen.

Hailey sent a look to her roommate, silently asking her to leave them alone to talk.

Vanessa obliged, and "You think I'm too weak to testify?" Hailey cut to the chase, causing Jay to furrow his brows at her, "You should close the door or at least learn to lower your voice," she specified in a bitter tone.

Jay vehemently shook his head, "That's not what I meant," he tried to clarify. He looked in her eyes and saw hurt in them, and it hurt _him_ that his words had had that effect on her when his only goal was to protect her.

"I thought you of all people would understand me and have my back," Hailey mumbled, staring at the ground.

He chuckled sarcastically, "Yeah, because letting you face that scumbag is having your back, right…" he trailed off with annoyance in his voice. "Jesus, Hailey, he almost got you killed!" he exclaimed.

"You were dead in that ambulance," he added then, his voice sounded calmer, softer, but it was still full of hurt and pain and fear.

Hailey immediately stared at him, narrowing her gaze, anger boiling in her, "But I'm not dead, I'm here, Jay!" she croaked, the uncomfortable feeling in her throat was starting to come back again. "If it's too much for you to handle then maybe you should leave and let me do my thing," she muttered harshly.

The fact that her words could somehow hurt his feelings was the last of her concerns in that moment.

"Yeah, you're right. Maybe I should," Jay retorted back, quickly reaching for his coat on the back of the couch.

Hailey watched him as he walked out from the kitchen, hearing the loud noise of the door being slammed.

She groaned loudly as she leaned on the table, placing her left cheek on its cold surface, and blinked rapidly to prevent the tears from falling.

She felt frustrated. Of course, the thought of facing Booth didn't thrill her, but it was what she needed to do. It wasn't going to be easy, she knew, but it was going to be worth it.

And Hailey thought Jay would be supportive of her decision, or at least understanding of it, and not underestimate her ability to stay focused and collected.

Apparently, she was wrong.

  
  


* * *

  
  


Vanessa took a plate of two Nutella French toasts from the kitchen counter and went sitting on the couch, next to where Hailey was.

She handed her one of the toasts, which the blonde accepted with a smile — she really needed some comfort food — and carefully looked at her.

Hailey's eyes were red and puffy from crying, regret on her face.

She hated how she always tended to push people away before they could decide to do it by themselves. Hailey was a pro at self-sabotaging.

And that's exactly why she did with Jay.

She feared that he couldn't bear everything that was happening to her, that he would eventually get tired, understanding he was just wasting his time with her and her mess. So… Maybe she'd used her discussion as a pretext to push him away.

"You know he's just worried about you, right?" Vanessa asked Hailey, addressing the elephant in the room.

"I know," Hailey nodded. There were a few seconds of silence and then, "But I need to do this, Vanessa. And I don't understand why me testifying has to be such a big deal," she voiced her concerns.

Vanessa shrugged and took a bite from her toast. After she'd swallowed, "He's very protective of you and I guess he shows it in his own way," she mumbled, watching Hailey's reaction.

The blonde blushed immediately at her friend's words, nervously hiding a strand of hair behind her ear.

"He'll come around, though," Vanessa added with her lips curled in a smile.

Hailey chuckled at that, "Oh, I know," she stated with a knowing look, "He can't stay mad at me for too long," she concluded with a mischievous grin.

Vanessa amusedly scoffed. "You two are such a couple, I swear!" she exclaimed.

At that comment, Hailey's cheeks got even redder, if possible. "For the thousandth time: it's not like that," she slowly shook her head.

The brunette smirked after taking the last bite from her toast, she raised her: "You keep telling yourself that."

  
  


* * *

  
  


Hailey was right: Jay couldn't stay mad at her for too long.

A victorious smile appeared on her lips when she checked her ringing phone and read her partner's name on the display.

She picked up her phone from her bedside and answered the call.

"Hey," she greeted him in a neutral tone, not sure if he was still angry at her.

"Hey… How are you?"

Hailey sighed, slowly moving in her bed, her back against the headboard.

She couldn't really complain: her home and the company of Vanessa were way better than the cold, uncomfortable hospital bed she'd slept in, but still… she was bored to death — she'd watched at least 4 hourly compilations of Catfish on YouTube, she was starting to think she was part of MTV's crew at some point.

It had been an emotional day for her, though, ever since its beginning. She'd been crying a lot: after her nightmare and after the fight with Jay, and then just before she took a shower.

Seeing the bandage and the bruises on her abdomen made her realize what she'd physically endured and just... Hailey had a lot to process.

"I'm doing alright. I'm in bed," she answered his question.

She heard him mumble. "Did you take your meds?" Jay checked in.

"Yes, dad," Jay could tell she was surely rolling her eyes just from the tone she'd used.

"Oh, you're into that," Hailey laughed out loud at that, "Noted, good to know," he added between giggles.

"Stop," she blushed. She was glad that the conversation was taking place on the phone, in the privacy of her bedroom.

There was a moment of silence, Hailey being lulled by the sound of Jay breathing.

And then, "I'm sorry," they muttered at the same time, their voices soft.

They both chuckled at the timing and then Hailey decided to keep on talking. "I need to do this, Jay" she explained, her tone wasn't playful anymore.

Hailey heard a long sigh coming from Jay, "I know," he said.

"I need him to see he didn't win," she elaborated, staring at the painting on the wall — the one that was hiding the bloodstains.

"I… — Jay hesitated — I understand that. And, Hails, I don't think you're weak or whatever… I just worry," he confessed, thinking that _maybe_ that was the way he should have addressed the topic hours earlier.

"I know," Hailey smiled at his concern, "Thank you."

Jay giggled, after releasing a heavy exhale. He felt relieved. "Of course," he mumbled.

They stayed quiet for a couple of seconds and then, "Hailey?" Jay called her name.

"Hm?"

"Are we good?" Hailey could imagine him nervously biting his bottom lip.

"Always," she asserted with a big smile, nodding as if he could see her.

It was like he'd told her a few years back: they were always going to be good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey hey hey!  
> I'm sorry it took me a long time to update, this chapter was just difficult to write. I wrote it like 3 times before being convinced with the result, and now I can finally say I'm satisfied... kinda lol  
> I hope you enjoyed it, tell me what part was your favorite ;)  
> Chapter 7 is already plotted, so hopefully it won't take me too long to write it!
> 
> Chapter title: Dark times - The Weeknd  
> Hope you all are okay, I love you guys!  
> Bye,  
> Fanta Enrica xx


	7. Skate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is probably my favorite chapter so far, I really enjoyed writing it and I hope it'll be a pleasure for you to read it. I'll see you at the end.

**T** he painting hung onto Dr. Charles’s office wall portrayed a swan lake so accurately that it looked like a photograph, but if you stared at it close enough you could notice the brushstrokes. 

“Hailey..?” the blonde snapped back to reality when Dr. Charles called her name, trying to get her attention.

It was their third encounter, the second of that week, and Dr. Charles was asking her how she’d been since their last meeting.

Hailey had finally understood (and accepted) that she wasn’t as fine as she claimed to be, making the decision to take the visit card Dr. Charles had handed her the day she was discharged from the hospital, and make an appointment.

The first encounter hadn’t been easy, but it was something both Hailey and Daniel expected.

Hailey didn’t open up easily, it always took her some time (a lot of it) to be comfortable enough to share details of her life, of her feelings, and in general what was going through her mind.

“Sorry. Uhm, I’m alright, been working on building the case with the team,” Hailey bit her bottom lip, looking at the psychiatrist in front of her.

The Intelligence Unit had opened all the emails Booth had sent during his conviction, contacting every person he’d been in touch with, and they’d all released a statement saying that he’d have offered them a reward if they’d take care of the “ _blonde_ _detective’s case_ ”, as he’d been calling it.

Dr. Charles nodded at her. “The team,” he began, “How’ve they been treating you?” he asked

The blonde slightly tilted her head and chuckled.

“Very well, they’ve kinda been spoiling me these past two weeks. Each of them brings me sweets every morning, especially Vanessa. Jay’s against it, though. Says I eat too much sugar,” she said with a smile, rolling her eyes.

“Vanessa and Jay, you’ve been talking a lot about them during our meetings,” Dr. Charles started, and Hailey sighed, already knowing what he was aiming at.

“I’m not dating Jay if that was your next question,” she played it safe, “It’s not like that,” she sent him a knowing look.

Dr. Charles hummed, carefully eyeing the detective. “Thanks for telling me, but that’s not what I was gonna ask you,” Hailey blushed hard at his statement, dropping her gaze to her hands, her fingers fidgeting with the buttons of the flannel shirt she was wearing.

“It’s interesting that you brought it up, though,” he trailed off, scribbling something on his notepad. “How is it then?” he inquired.

Hailey took a deep breath. “He knows me,” she started, “He knows he doesn’t have to press on a topic to get me to talk to him. He just waits,” she shrugged.

“It’s nice to have someone like that, right?”

“She nodded in agreement, “Yeah, and Vanessa too. They’ve been helping me a lot, I don’t know how I’d do without them if I’m being honest.”

Daniel shot her a tight-lipped smile. “The court hearing is tomorrow. How’re you feeling about that? I guess it’s gonna be a lot, emotionally speaking…”   


Hailey sighed, thinking about an answer.

She wasn’t sure about how she felt, a lot was going on in her mind.

The thought of being in front of Booth made her stomach churn, but that wasn’t going to stop her from accomplishing her goal.

“I’ll do what I have to do,” she shrugged, feigning an indifference that both she and Dr. Charles knew was only a façade.

Daniel was ready to ask her another question, but the clock on his desk started beeping, signaling that their time was up, their session done.

Hailey released a sigh of relief: she knew going to therapy and talking to a professional figure was supposed to help her, but that didn’t mean that she had to enjoy it.

“I’ll see you next time? Daniel asked, just to make sure she wouldn’t give up on getting help.

Even just talking was important, and he hoped Hailey would understand that.

And Hailey perfectly understood that it was just a bit harder to make peace with it.

* * *

Hailey was nervous, she’d been for the last four hours.

She hadn’t slept that night, but not because she felt nervous — what she’d been feeling was something much closer to a sense of numbness.

It had kept her awake the whole night, though she didn’t feel exhausted (as it’d be expected). She just wanted to give her testimony and leave all that story behind her.

The only thing that made her nervous right now, facing Booth.

It wasn’t out of fright, but the fact that she didn’t know how she was going to react once she'd see his face didn’t make her comfortable either.

“Here,” Kevin mumbled to Hailey, handing a chocolate bar to her, making her smile.

The Intelligence Unit was inside the court, waiting for the hearing to start.

They were all dressed up nice, everyone was wearing a suit and a tie.

“Thanks,” was Hailey’s response. She tucked the chocolate bar in the pocket of the elegant black trousers she was wearing, deciding to save it for later — her stomach had no intention of keeping any food inside, she knew.

Hailey looked around and found a pair of green eyes already staring at her, checking on her in silence.

She and Jay’s ability to communicate without the need to utter a single word proved its efficacy even in that circumstance.

Jay’s stare was quietly asking her if she was ready for what was going to happen, his gaze piercing in her blue eyes.

The blonde moved her head almost imperceptibly, sending a slight nod to him.

It was matched by Jay’s wink, which made Hailey smile a little. He wanted her to relax, even if it was only for a few seconds.

“His lawyer’s getting inside,” Adam announced, straightening his tie and earning a glare from his boss.

Hank quickly turned around to look at the door opening, and then went back to stare at their — Hailey’s — lawyer. 

“It’s Slattery, the judge” ADA Callan muttered, releasing a shaky breath when he saw the judge assigned to their case.

“Good or bad?” Hank asked in his gruff voice, all the Unit carefully watching the interaction, wanting to know who they were dealing with.

ADA Callan cocked his brows, a skeptical expression on his face. “Let’s just hope he woke up on the right side of the bed,” Jay rolled his eyes at his statement, crossing his arms on his chest.

_ What a way to encourage them…  _

He glanced at Hailey to see if the ADA’s words had caused some reactions from her, but she looked calm.

She  _ looked _ calm, but there was a storm of thoughts going through her head.

The bailiff signaled that it was time for them to get in court.

“You got this,” Vanessa cheered, shooting a reassuring smile her way before getting inside.

Jay entered alongside Hailey, placing a hand on her shoulder and leaving a gentle squeeze on it e going to take a seat.

Hailey raised her head to look at him, she nervously touched her ponytail.

“Let’s do this,” she mumbled to herself, taking one last glance at her Unit.

A slight smile appeared on her lips as she watched them, grateful to have them to watch her back, in every sense.

* * *

“I’d like to call Ms. Hailey Anne Upton as my witness,'' She took a deep breath when she heard her name being called. She got up, straightening her suit, and quickly walked to the stand.

Her breath hitched when she saw  _ his _ face, after taking a seat.

Ronald looked older than the last time she’d seen him.   
His hair and beard were no more greyish, they had become fully white now.   
The wrinkles on his face were more visible, the signs of the time clear on his features.

ADA Callan got up and walked to get in front of the detective: “Can you tell us what was the course of the events from the instants before your kidnapping to the following hours..?”

Hailey took a deep breath and bit the bottom lip. “I went out with two of my co-workers and then came home, noticed the battery of my phone was too low and I went to my room to put it under charge,” she sighed deeply. “When I was putting my phone on charge someone talked to me and that’s how I understood that person broke in.”

“He pressed a cloth on my mouth, it smelled like chlorine and something else. I lost consciousness. When I woke up I was on the ground, my hands were cuffed to a radiator. I was, uuh-” he exhaled, licking her bottom lip and glancing up to the ceiling, feeling her tears threatening to fall.

It was like she was reliving the same feelings over again. “They were two of them, they alternatively smacked my face or kicked me in the stomach. When I started coughing blood uhm, Dean-sorry, Sean got scared because according to him, having me dead wasn’t in the plan,” she chuckled bitterly.

“We moved location, I was in the car trunk the entire time, so I had no idea where we were going,” Hailey stared at the ground, not daring to see the reactions of her friend. The last thing she wanted was to be looked at with pity eyes. “We get to this old house, again, I’m handcuffed to a radiator.”

“Uhm. The-the other guy then overdosed, his face was so pale, his lips blue, it was- a lot to see,” she bit her lips.

“I asked to go to the bathroom and once I was there I saw a spike on the wall, I managed to extract it and then used it to get rid of the handcuffs. Then D-Sean got suspicious and we got into a fight. He was above me and I saw he had a gun. I took it and shot the first time, that’s when I noticed he’d stabbed me, so I shot a second time.”

The room was totally silent, carefully listening to her account.

“I got out of the house because I was bleeding, I hoped a car would stop by to help me, but that didn’t happen. I walked for I don’t know how long and then I sensed I was losing consciousness, so I thought the best option for me was to find a place to stay, hoping my team would find me, and that’s what happened,” she smiled at the end.

“I was brought in the hospital hypothermic, I actually coded in the ambulance. I went under surgery and they had to restore my heartbeat, along with my temperature, but they weren’t able to save my appendix, so they removed it,” she concluded, releasing a heavy breath.

ADA Callan shot her a sympathetic smile and then nodded at her, “Nothing further, your honor,” he muttered, looking at the judge.

ADA Ward then got up, Hailey was mentally preparing for any of his tricky questions. “Ms. Upton, you said you lost your appendix, right?”

Hailey nodded and sighed: “Yes.”

ADA Ward hummed, biting his bottom lip. “Well, I’m sorry that happened to you,” Hailey fought the urge to roll her eyes at the fake sympathy.

“From the emails you’ve collected as evidence, you only found that my client only requested to kidnap you and release you afterward, right?”

ADA Callan stood up, “Objection, your honor. We’ve all read the files, where are we getting at?” he had an annoyed expression on his face.

Judge Slattery side-eyed ADA Ward and told him to hurry up getting to his point. 

ADA Ward raised his hands in surrender, Hailey hated how theatrical he was acting.

“We’ve all read the files, right. In no part they contained even a single sentence in which my client ordered to cause any harm to Ms. Upton. What happened to you… I guess we should call it collateral damage,” he turned to directly face the judge and then back to Hailey, “Was it my client who was holding the knife to stab you?” he asked rhetorically.

Hailey looked at both the lawyers with confusion, her eyes glossy.

She couldn’t believe what had just happened.

Booth didn’t directly stab her, but she would’ve been just fine if  _ he _ hadn’t ordered them to kidnap her in the first place. It  _ was _ his fault, he was responsible for what he’d caused her.

How could anyone try to deny it?

Hailey raised her face, staring at the ceiling, and blinked rapidly to prevent her tears from falling. She wasn’t hurt, just fuming with rage.

She took a deep breath and looked in front of her.

Her eyes immediately laid on Jay, she couldn’t explain the reason why. Staring at him brought her that sense of familiarity that she was craving so bad at that moment.

Jay wore a pissed-off expression, she could see his hardened features, his leg was bouncing out of nervousness.

Listening to what Hailey had been through, hearing every little detail coming out of her mouthful… it hit him harder than expected.

The guilt he’d felt when they’d found out that she’d been kidnapped had easily made its way inside his head again, eating every thought he produced.

Jay wasn’t only angry at Booth, but at himself too.

He stopped torturing his bottom lip as soon as his gaze locked with Hailey’s.

They shared an intense stare, Jay’s anger seemed to have calmed down when he gazed at her.

He felt bad because Hailey clearly needed comfort in that moment, and the only thing he could offer her was a look.

He didn’t know that  _ that _ look meant everything to her then. Jay was wordlessly telling her to bite the bullet, that everything was going to be over soon, she just had to hold on for another short amount of time.

Jay slightly narrowed his eyes and then widened them again, it was his way of telling her to keep going, that she had this, and it was all Hailey needed.

* * *

Adam vehemently shook his head in disbelief, still processing what happened just ten minutes before, during the last part of the trial.

“Can’t believe he had an ace in the hole like that!” he exclaimed, his hazel eyes still wide.

Kim slapped his arm, rolling her eyes at his lack of tact: “Shut up!” she whispered-yelled, sending an apologetic look to Hailey.

The ace in the hole Adam was referring to was the ADA’s choice to convict Booth for Garrett’s death.

ADA Ward had bombarded him with questions, making him eventually confess his active role in the murder of Garrett.

It was enough for Hailey. The fact that he’d been held accountable for her injury was only a plus at that point.

“It’s fine,” Hailey tried to reassure both Adam and Kim, showing them a tight-lipped smile.

They were soon joined by Jay, who had made a stop to the restroom, trying to recover from Hailey’s account of the hell she’d endured. He was still shaken.

“Ready to go?” he asked Hailey, his tie rolled up in his hand.

Vanessa smirked at them but didn’t say anything: Hailey had been through a lot already, she didn’t need her to stress her too.

Hailey and Jay said their goodbyes to their friends, but Adam stopped them right when they were starting to walk towards the parking lot. 

“Molly’s tonight? To celebrate?” he suggested.

He knew everyone else would agree, he just wanted to know if Hailey was going to be there as well.

“All your drinks on me,” he tried to convince her as he looked at her hesitant face.

“This offer comes once every fifty years, you better not miss the chance!” Kevin chimed in, addressing his best friend’s cheapness.

Hailey giggled at his comment. “Oh, well, if Ruzek is paying…” she trailed off, backing Kevin.

“Only  _ your _ drinks,” Adam reiterated.

“I’ll think about it,” she stated, and that response was enough for Adam, who nodded at her.

They said goodbye once again and in just a couple of minutes Hailey and Jay hopped on the latter’s truck.

They exited the parking lot and, “Can we go somewhere first before you drop me home?” she asked, not looking at him but keeping her gaze on the road in front of them.

Jay briefly glanced at her and saw Hailey was nervously biting her bottom lip, “Yeah, of course.”

* * *

Jay was standing far from Hailey, though it was enough for him to see her figure.

She was sitting on the ground, her legs crossed, not caring that the pants of her fancy suit would get dirty in the process. It was the last thing on her mind at that moment.

Hailey was holding a bouquet in her hand, her gaze focused in front of her, on Garrett’s picture. 

After the trial, Jay had taken her to the closest flower shop where she'd bought a bouquet of white lilies.

Once they'd left the shop, Jay didn't ask her what their next destination was/would be.

When they arrived in front of the cemetery, she had briefly looked at him, silently thanking Jay for knowing her so well.

She didn't need to explain things to him, he just… got her, simply.

Hailey intensely stared at Garrett's face in the small picture frame, recognizing his short hair (that he often covered with a grey beanie) and the beard on his cheeks and chin.

It was Hailey's first time visiting his grave.

Garrett's parents had bought it as soon as they'd found out about the disappearance of their son, claiming they knew he wasn't alive because he would've never left without telling them a single word about it.

They were right.

At the time, Hailey didn't want to hear it, though. 

She didn't utter a single word while she was sitting there.

She had a strange feeling inside of her.

Hailey thought that being in front of her dead ex-boyfriend would've brought her a sense of anguish, that she wouldn't have been able to be there but what the blonde was feeling was definitely far from that. It was rather something similar to relief.

The weight that she'd been carrying on her shoulders for so many years was starting to feel lighter, she had never felt like that ever since she'd discovered the truth about Garrett's and his death.

Coming in front of his gravestone had turned out to be the right choice to make.

Hailey sighed heavily, placing the bouquet on the stone, and shot her last glance at Garrett's picture.

Her index finger brushed against it and Hailey smiled.

The blonde then got up on her feet and turned around, finding Jay waiting for her.

Once she was in front of him, "You good?" he asked her, checking in, his eyes glued on the features of her face, studying her expression.

Hailey sighed again and without even thinking she wrapped her arms around Jay's body in a hug.

Jay was shocked, taken aback by her gesture, so he stayed still for a few seconds, still processing what was happening.

It was enough time for Hailey to start second-guessing her actions, though, making her think that maybe she'd overstepped.   


All her silent questions and doubts were long gone when she felt Jay pull her body closer to his, her head was now resting on his chest — he was pretty sure Hailey could hear the fast pace at which his heart was beating.   


Hailey inhaled softly, the scent of his strong musky aftershave filling her nostrils.

"I will," she declared with a nod, relaxing when Jay started gently stroking her blonde hair that she'd previously freed from the tight ponytail.

It was probably too much physical contact for them, definitely more than what they were used to sharing, but none of them seemed to mind it.

On the contrary, they were enjoying it.

It felt good to be in each other's arms, both of them didn't know how much they'd been craving for it until that very moment.

It felt good and it felt  _ right _ , like it was meant to be, like the last thing they needed to do was to pull apart.

And they didn't, they stayed wrapped in that hug, the expression of life, relief to have one another, of many forms of love that they were still too afraid to explore.

* * *

Hailey turned off the steaming hot water and rushed out of the shower when she heard the doorbell ring.

She quickly reached for her violet bathrobe and wrapped her body in it.

She put her flip-flops on and walked through the corridor, quickly arriving in front of the main door of her apartment.

A smile appeared on her lips when she looked through the peephole and saw that the person behind the door was Jay.

Hailey unlocked the door and opened it, blushing hard when she realized what state she was in, her cheeks getting even redder as she felt Jay's gaze on her.

He was trying so hard to not scan down her body, but that was a very difficult task for him to complete.

Jay cleared his throat, "You ditched Molly's," he stated matter-of-factly, entering the house as the blonde stepped aside.

"Yeah, I didn't feel like being around too many people," she explained, closing the door behind her and locking it — she had become extremely cautious on that front.

"I'm gonna…" she pointed at her bathrobe, implying that she was going to get dressed.

Jay nodded at her and, taking his cost off and trying not to think about the fact that Hailey had no clothes under that robe.

"Beers in the fridge, right?" the blonde nodded at him before storming out of there.

She got back in just a few minutes, a few water droplets falling from the ends of her hair slightly damping her sweatshirt.

Jay looked at her in a way that immediately made her feel flustered.

And he was staring at him in that way because she… she was just plain gorgeous.

Hailey had changed into some baggy sweatpants and an oversize black hoodie that made her look smaller than she already was.

It was beyond Jay how she managed to appear so beautiful and, let's just say it, sexy even when she wore what was, in fact, her pajamas.

It blew his mind.

The blonde approached him, taking a beer bottle from his hand. "C'mon," she motioned for him to go sit on the couch with a gesture of her head.

Jay obliged, “How are you feeling?” he asked Hailey, opening his beer bottle.

She bit her bottom lip. “I don’t wanna think about anything, at least for tonight…” she started, turning to look into his eyes.

Jay saw the sincerity in them and decided to not press on the topic.

They could pretend that nothing had happened for a few hours, it wasn’t the end of the world.

“Okay.” He muttered and Hailey showed him a grateful smile.

She then sighed, “What are we watching?” Hailey handed him her bottle of beer for him to open it for her — since she had the bad habit of biting her nails.

“You choose,” and Hailey chuckled at his response, “At your own risk,” she commented.

Jay stared at her as she flipped through the channels, admiring her beauty.

She looked tired, but nonetheless breathtaking.

Hailey tried to not blush when she noticed he was staring at her, spying on him with the corner of her eyes.

It made her feel very self-conscious, but she managed to stay calm and act as if her heart wasn’t beating at an accelerating pace in her chest.

“Really?” he scoffed when Hailey stopped on a channel that was transmitting the second High School Musical movie.

Hailey cocked a brow at him, a smug smile on her face. “Too tough for that, uh?” she asked him in a mocking tone, playfully rolling her eyes at him.

“Life’s too short to pretend you don’t like High School Musical, Jay,” she added then, shooting a wink his way and taking a sip from her beer.

Jay smirked at her smart response, shaking his head and resting his back against the couch, getting in a more comfortable position.

They watched the very beginning of the movie, Jay eyeing Hailey every now and then and giggling when the blonde started lip-synching the songs.

“You’re really into it?” he asked, his eyes soft but wide. “Like, unironically?” he added, suppressing an amused smile.

Hailey punched his arm and blushed hard, biting her lips. “Stop making fun of me!”

Jay stared at her red cheeks and found the urge to kiss them. He raised his arms in surrender and looked at her as she enjoyed the movie.

By the time they were holding their fifth beers, the distance between them was almost non-existent.

Hailey had her legs crossed, her arm resting onto Jay’s.

“Why is he singing when he’s barely holding the mic?”

“Stop!” Hailey laughed at his comment, “You’re so annoying?”

“How am I the one who’s annoying when they’re clearly scamming us?” Jay replied, raising his brows.

“I’m never gonna watch a movie with you.”

“You can’t handle the truth,” he tried to make his best Voight impression, trying to imitate his low, gruff voice. That was enough for Hailey to start cackling even more, “Stoooop!”

The blonde rested her head on Jay’s shoulder, sighing contentedly. The last part of the movie playing in the background.

She slowly leaned more and more onto him, her head now on his lap.

Jay took a pillow and gently lifted her head, moving her hair off her face making her head rest on the soft surface of the pillow. “Better?”

Hailey nodded, her lips curled in a dumb smile.

She looked at him from below, her eyes glossy but nonetheless focused on every single detail of Jay’s face.

“You have a lot of freckles,” Hailey stated, staring at him and reaching for his face with her hand. 

Her index finger brushed against the skin of his cheek, analyzing deeply the thousands of freckles she was so curious about.

Jay’s breath hitched when he felt her cold fingers on his skin, her touch was burning him, paradoxically.

They were playing a dangerous game. 

They were too close for what they were used to, and the way they were so carefully but intensely staring at each other — that wasn’t how work partners, friends, were supposed to look at each other.

His heart started beating much faster when Hailey’s finger reached his lips, softly brushing against them.

They weren’t smiling anymore, their expressions were now serious.

Jay met her hand mid-air, stopping her motions. “Hailey…” he whispered, blinking slowly.

She loved how her name rolled off his tongue, she was never going to get tired of the way he pronounced it.

She bored into his eyes, their green was so intense and a bit darker.

“You’re drunk,” Jay didn’t think he would be able to say those words coherently, his mind felt like a putty that he didn’t know how to handle.

Hailey chuckled, her lips curled in a pout. “You too,” she retorted with a frown.

And Jay nodded at her, his fingers still playing with hers.

He sighed deeply, “Hailey, Hailey Hailey…” he trailed off, his stare shifting from her lips to her eyes and then to her lips again.

“We should get some sleep,” he suggested, closing his eyes and tilting his head.

Hailey watched him as he stared back at her, his hands pinching her nose, her expression scrunched up. 

She stubbornly shook her head, “I’m fine here,” she protested.

Jay drunkenly chuckled at her response.

He put his hands on her back and under her thighs, getting up in a swift move that made Hailey squeal loudly.

Jay planted his feet on the floor, the previous quick movement slightly making him dizzy.

He could hold his liquor, but he had had  _ a lot _ of it.

Once he was set, Jay walked them to Hailey’s bedroom, the blonde keeping her eyes shut because they were moving too fast for her liking.

They entered the room and Jay put Hailey under the blankets — it took him longer than normally expected, but Hailey expected, but Hailey wasn’t really cooperating.

“You’re a party-pooper, we were having fun,” she heard her slur, her voice muffled because of the pillow pressed against her mouth.

Jay ran a hand to his face and hummed, “Maybe too much fun.”

He then sighed, “Goodnight, Hailey.”

“You can’t drive,” she stated, and that was the most sober-like thing she’d said ever since her second beer.

Jay huffed, “I know. I’ll take the couch,” he mumbled.

“Jay,” he stopped from exiting the room once he heard his name being called.

“I’m sorry,” she didn’t know why she was saying that. Maybe she’d sensed a slight change in the tone of his voice, he sounded too self-aware to her ears — or maybe she just had too much alcohol, that was a plausible option.

Jay suppressed a frustrated groan. “Don’t be,” he said, finally getting out of the room and releasing a heavy sigh, his eyes wide.

He walked back to the living room and laid on the couch — he could still smell the scent of her shampoo on the small pillow — his mind filled with a million thoughts.

Each one of them was related to Hailey and what had happened (or was about to) minutes earlier.

Jay wasn’t dumb, he knew what was going to eventually happen if he didn’t decide to take Hailey to bed — the burning sensation of her fingers on his skin — his lips — was still so vivid.

But he knew her, Jay knew they would have regretted whatever thing was going to ensue if they hadn’t stopped.

And he couldn’t have risked compromising their bond over something that went down while they were drunk.

Hailey and Jay knew better than that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey hey heeeey. How are you? Hope you're doing well.
> 
> So... chapter 7... how was it???  
> I wrote it in basically just one day (the editing part took me some time, I would've gladly posted sooner otherwise), I was really into it, way more enthusiastic than I was with the previous one.
> 
> Hailey DID go to Dr. Charles, see? I think she made the right choice.  
> And what about the last part... ;)  
> I'm evil, I know I know.
> 
> Now, tell me, did you enjoy it? If so, what was your favorite part?
> 
> Let me know!!
> 
> I send you all a big virtual hug, I love you all and your super duper kind comments, you're amazing. Thanks for showing me all your support, it truly means a lot
> 
> Title: Skate - Tycho, Saint Sinner
> 
> I gotta go now, but if you wanna talk I'm @5021ZAIN on both Tumblr and Twitter, feel free to hit me up! :D
> 
> Bye,  
> Fanta Enrica :)

**Author's Note:**

> So. This happened. I'm sorry..?
> 
> Ngl, I'm kinda excited for this new journey. I have no idea how long this fic is gonna be, but it's not gonna be super lengthy… maybe..? I don't really know, because if some crazy idea pops in my mind and fits into the story I might use it… we'll see, right?
> 
> Also, I don't know how often I'm gonna update. It will be every other day, I guess ahahah The general idea of the plot is there, but I have to write it down while doing some research on some details, technicalities and stuff like that bc I want things to be as accurate as possible. And the editing part too, I'm more comfortable with writing in English but I have my limits too and sometimes I have to reformulate concepts in a "less Italian" way LOL*
> 
> Anyways, what do you guys think? Jay is kind of a prophet, isn't he? He subconsciously jinxed stuff to happen, yes he did!
> 
> And, tell me, who is the man who kidnapped Hailey? What does he want from her? I kinda gave you a big clue already👀
> 
> Writing the action part was a bit of a challenge because if you read my other stuff, you'd notice that I'm more comfortable with writing long descriptions, super long sentences (*) and yeah, I had to cut that down for the fight part to be more effective. The result? Eh, let's say I tried ahahah
> 
> Title of the fic is from Wolves by Kanye West, it's a dope song, point blank period. I love it and I think you should listen to it. It features Sia and Vic Mensa, but there's a version with my man Frank Ocean in it too.
> 
> The title of this prologue (+ the few lyrics at the end of the chapter) is from Stay wide awake by Eminem and yk I usually recommend songs that inspire me during the writing process… well, that will not be the case this time.
> 
> I don't know if you're familiar with Eminem's lyricism, especially pre-Recovery Eminem, but yeah his songs are too much sometimes, definitely problematic.
> 
> I'm just gonna say it: the flow of the song is amazing in my opinion, but the lyrics are super creepy and fucked up on too many levels and yeah, just don't listen to it. Trust me on that😅
> 
> I talk way too much in these Author notes, it's getting annoying, I really need to work on that…  
> Anyways, let me know what you guys think of this first glimpse into this fic, I hope you like it and are even just a little bit curious to know how it's gonna unfold (maybe we'll figure it out together, yeah?) I wanna know you guys' opinions.
> 
> As always, thank you for reading, it truly means a lot.
> 
> Stay safe, I love you all!  
> Fanta Enrica xx


End file.
